The Fear
by krazi little aus
Summary: What happens when your worst fears come true? Jake finds out!
1. Jake

**Disclaimer: **None of the characters belong to me and they never will! It is all the property of K.A Applegate

**Jake**

Hi my name is Jake. You know the deal. I'm the so called leader of a group of kids resisting an alien invasion. We're all in it together, Marco, my best friend, Rachael, my cousin, Cassie, Rachel's best friend, Tobias, a boy turned hawk because he stayed in a morph too long and Ax, an andalite stuck on Earth. The Yeerks are a parasitic race that has already captured nearly half of the human race, including my brother Tom. We fight them like America fights Iraq. And we have only one weapon: morph. We can morph into any animal we choose, but there's a time limit of two hours. Tobias abused the time limit and so now he is stuck as a red tailed hawk. We are called Animorphs. We try to keep our lives as normal as possible. This is why I was seen in the mall with my friends, just hanging out.

"Anyway, so I say 'get back you, I am master now' and he's like 'sorry man didn't mean to'" Marco, trying to impress us on one of his many attempts of making a video game into reality.

"Uh-huh," I said, so not impressed. We headed towards the food court when my mobile phone rang. I got it from the back of my pocket and flipped it open.

"Hello," I said. It was my mum and she sounded really upset.

"Jake, you need to come home," she said.

"Alright I'll be there in ten minutes," I said, anxious to get home to see what she was so upset about.

"What's up?" Rachel asked as we reached the food court.

"I have to get home," I said. "I'll see you later at Cassie's barn."

I turned around and walked out of the mall. When I entered my house I knew something was wrong. My mum and dad were on the couch. Tom was no where to be seen. My mum was crying silently, but the most terrifying thing was so was my dad.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hurrying toward them. My parents normally don't cry, actually they never cry.

"Jake, maybe you should sit down," my mother sobbed.

"No just tell me," I said.

"Jake, Tom was murdered today," my dad said.

I should have sat down. I could feel my face grow pale. I could feel my eyes grow hot. No, how could this happen?

"What?" I asked, starting to shiver, even though it was a hot day.

"Tom was found in an alleyway," my father sniffed. "He had a gun shot wound on his back."

My mother burst out crying at this.

"They think it was some robbers asking for money but Tom refused and…and," my father broke off.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I turned around and stormed out of the door. I could literally feel my heart tear in two. After all I have done to try and save Tom from the Yeerk in his head, he had to be shot down by a pair of robbers. Of course I knew robbers hadn't killed my brother. The Yeerk in his head must have disobeyed Visser Three or something and he got killed for it.

I walked down the street and several blocks trying to kill off time before the meeting at Cassie's barn, but I was trying very hard not to break down. I had to show up and pretend like everything was alright. I couldn't let them know what happened.

By the time I had reached Cassie's barn, everyone was there. Ax had morphed into human form and Tobias was perched in the rafters. Cassie and Rachel were sharing a bale of hay and Marco was leaning against a pole.

"It's about time you graced us with your presence," Marco laughed as I walked in, but stopped when he saw the look on my face.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing," I muttered and sat down on a bale of hay away from everyone else. I put my face in my hands and tried very hard not to break down. I had to be strong. Don't think about Tom. Then it struck me: had Rachel learnt of Tom's fate? I looked up, but she looked oblivious like the rest as to why I was in a sudden state of depression.

"Jake if there's anything wrong…" Cassie started, but I interrupted her.

"Just get on with it," I snapped harshly.

They all looked at me, surprised. I don't usually snap at anyone without a good reason. Of course I had a good reason, but they didn't know about it.

((Alright, Ax has something to talk about.)) Tobias said in thought speech.

"I have found another infiltration centre the Yeerks are holding," Ax said.

"Let's knock it down," Rachel said straight away.

"Wait a minute don't you think we should find out where the place is being held and who's guarding it," Cassie said.

"Fine, Ax where is it?" Rachel asked.

"It is at your local town hall," Ax said.

"Town hall!" Marco exclaimed. "I agree with Rachel on this. This is the town hall!"

"I still think we should find out more about this," Cassie protested.

((What do you think Jake?)) Tobias asked.

"I don't care," I spat. "Do what you want."

They all stared at me. All wondering why I was acting like this.

"Prince Jake, are you alright?" Ax asked calmly.

I was saved from answering by my mobile ringing.

I stood up and took it from my pocket. I flipped it open and looked at the number flashing on the screen. It was home. My parents were probably wondering were I was.

I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to get out. And I didn't mean out of the barn. With all my might I threw the mobile as far as I could. It hit the wall and shattered. Now they all knew something was wrong because above everything, I was definitely not destructive.

I was breathing deeply and I could fell my face and eyes grow hot again. No, I can't cry in front of them. I have to be strong.

"Jake, you're obviously upset about something," Cassie said. She stood up from a wide eyed Rachel and strode over to me.

I jumped back like she carried some disease. She looked surprised and I thought I owed them an explanation for my behaviour, but then I reminded myself that Rachel would probably learn of it tonight and tell everyone else. And suddenly I felt a panic attack coming on. I was panicking. I didn't know why, all I knew was I wanted out. I wanted out of everything. I wanted out of my life.

"Just stay away," I said to her. "Please, just keep away from me."

I could hardly breathe, but I turned around and walked hurriedly out.


	2. Marco

**Marco**

"Well, that was weird," I said uneasily.

We had just witnessed Jake breaking down and I for one was absolutely terrified.

((What was that all about?)) Tobias asked in thought speech.

"Did anything go wrong with Jake's family?" Cassie asked Rachel.

"How am I supposed to know," Rachel asked. "Sure we're cousins but our families don't speak remember?"

"Did he tell you anything?" Cassie asked me. Jake and I were best friends, but he hadn't said anything.

"No," I answered. "I haven't seen him since the mall and he seemed fine then."

"He got a call from home remember and had to go home," Rachel said.

"Do you have your mobile here?" Cassie asked me.

"Yeah," I said and pulled it out. "Why?"  
"Call Jake's house number," Cassie said. "Ask his mum what's happening."

I rang the house just as Cassie ordered and what I learnt chilled my blood.

"Hello?" it was Jake's mum and she was crying.

"Hi, Mrs. Jake," I said cheerily. "Is Jake around?"

"Oh, sorry Marco," she sobbed. "I was trying to call him before, but he mustn't have heard the phone."

"Do you know where he is?" I asked, trying to get steadily to the main question.

"No, sorry dear," she said. "Although, he is taking the news quite hard. As we all are. But I think Jake feels it more."

"What news?" I asked innocently.

"Haven't you heard?" she sounded astounded. "But I thought Jake would have called you."

"No," I said quickly.

"Tom's…Tom's been m…murdered," she cracked down and suddenly the only thing I heard from the other side was static. I hung up.

"Well," Rachel asked, impatiently. "What's wrong?"  
I swallowed and opened my mouth to talk, but somehow the words wouldn't come out.

Cassie walked over to me and put her hand on my arm. I looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.

"Tom's been murdered," I whispered, but everyone heard me.

"Oh my gosh," Rachel breathed and when I looked at her she was crying which was a strange sight.

"We have to find Jake," Cassie said quickly.

"Why?" Ax asked.

"Because Tom is his brother," I said. "He's obviously cut up about this."

((Yeah and you know Jake, he does really stupid things when he's angry or upset,)) Tobias said reasonably.

"But he could be in any morph!" Rachel sobbed desperately.

Cassie walked over to Rachel and put an arm around her.

"Let's morph into your birds," Ax said stupidly. "We can easily spot him from above."

It was planned. We morphed. Rachel as a bold eagle, Cassie and me in osprey morphs, Tobias as himself and Ax as a harrier. We searched the whole area. We searched where he might go. We checked the mall and all the Yeerk facilities, but we didn't find him or any animal he might have morphed into and it was getting dark.

((Maybe he went home,)) Tobias suggested.

((Why would he go home?)) I asked. ((It's a constant reminder of Tom.))

((Wait a minute; did we check the town hall?)) Rachel asked.

There was a stunned minute of silence. Rachel had stated the obvious. How could I have overlooked that?

((Let's go,)) I snapped.

As we flew closer and closer to the town hall the tension between us grew. I tried to crack a joke, but nobody found it funny. We were all worried about Jake and what he might do.

Jake was a good leader, but he got scary when he was angry or upset and that could ruin us. And as we grew closer to the town hall there was no doubt in anybody's mind that Jake was there. Our fears were confirmed when the town hall came into our view. People were running and screaming from the town hall as roars were becoming recognisable.

((Jackpot,)) I said as we soared down into an alleyway behind the town hall. I started to demorph as soon as I landed. I watched as the others started to demorph as well. Ax becoming his weird andalite form.

I had finished demorphing and was now morphing my gorilla morph. When I was able to use thought speech I used it.

((Alright, I'm going in. Tobias and Ax can be back up outside. Rachel, Cassie and I will go in.))

"Sho what?" Rachel said, halfway through her grizzly bear morph. "You're sha leader now?"

((Just do it,)) I said impatiently.

Cassie had already finished morphing her wolf and was impatient to start. Tobias had stayed in his normal form as a red-tailed hawk, but Ax was morphing into his human form.

All of a sudden another roar came, chilling my blood. But this time it wasn't an angry roar, but a painful roar, as though Jake's tiger morph had suffered a blow.

((Jake,)) Cassie moaned.

((Hurry up, Rachel,)) I snapped.

((I'm ready, lets do it,)) she said, lumbering her huge grizzly bear body out of the alleyway and towards the town hall. Tobias took flight and Cassie, Ax and I raced out of the alley. Ax separated from us and Rachel, Cassie and I hurried passed the terrified people into the town hall. And what I saw inside made my blood run cold. There were dozens of controllers on each sides of the large hall pointing dracon beams at the back wall, where a man was pinned up by a tiger. A very angry tiger. A very angry tiger with a nasty large gash across his belly. Jake was losing blood and very soon he would be helpless.

Rachel, Cassie and I raced towards the many controllers before they had a chance to turn their dracon beams on us. We knocked most of them out, but there were many others and they had noticed us by now and were pointing their dracon beams toward us.

"Take your tiger with you and we might consider sparing your lives," a controller nearest me sneered.

((Give us one of your minutes,)) Cassie said, trying to speak like an andalite.

((Let me speak to him,)) Rachel said, in a private conversation to just include the three of us.

((I'll speak to him,)) Cassie interjected.

((Listen, he's just lost a brother, he doesn't need any patronization or lectures,)) I said. ((I know what it's like, I'll speak with him.)) I opened the conversation to include Jake.

((Jake, man, what are you doing?)) I asked

((What does it look like I'm doing?)) he said harshly.

((Just drop the guy and we can get out of here,)) I said.

((Why should I?))

((Look, man, we know about your brother,)) I said softly.

Jake seemed to have grown stiff.

((Shut up,)) he said in a kind of sob.

((Don't punish an innocent for this,)) I said softly.

((Shut up, shut up!))

((Come on, Jake, just put the guy down. Don't punish him for what Visser Three did,)) I said reasonably.

((They killed him! If I had just…))

((If you had just what?)) I asked. ((You could have done nothing. It was all the Yeerk's fault. Not your's and not Tom's. Just let it go.))

He remained silent, just pinning the guy against the wall.

((Jake, all you can do is grieve, that's all. Just let it go and we can walk out of here unharmed.))  
At first I thought he wasn't going to budge, but then he let out a great roar that shook the walls. The guy that was face to face with him must have wet his pants, I know I would. Then, as though it was all planned out, he lifted one of his gigantic paws and hit the guy on the face. The guy stumbled and fell in a heap on the floor where he stayed.

It was a miracle we got out of there alive. The Yeerks, for their part, didn't attack us and luckily when we made our cautious way out of the town hall there was no sign of any animal rescuers. We tried to run flat out to the alley, but Jake was losing blood fast. He refused any help, but we made it to the alley. Tobias and Ax were already waiting for us there. We started to demorph. Jake finished demorphing first and when I looked at his face, I could tell he was seriously angry. He didn't even wait for us to demorph before walking out of the alley and ignored the protests from Ax and Tobias.


	3. Jake II

**Jake**

I was so close to killing every controller in the town hall before Marco, Rachel and Cassie decided to show up. I hated them right then as I strolled down my street. It was dark and my parents were probably worrying, but I didn't care. I hated them too. I hated myself for what I caused my family. But I especially hated the Yeerks. For what they caused to the world.

As my house came into full view, I noticed that the house lights were on and two very familiar cars were parked in our driveway. Rachel's family car and Marco's dad's car. Rachel's family would of course come to visit when they heard because even though we weren't close, we were still family. Marco must have told his dad about what happened. When Marco's mum supposedly died, our family was there for him and his dad. Now they thought they had to repay the favour, which made me angrier towards them.

I reached the house dreading my entrance. They would all probably rush over to me and say how sorry they are and it's not my fault. I knew I would look into their pitiful faces and feel dead hatred and that's what scared me the most. When I reached the doorstep, I found a better way of getting into the house unseen. Owl morph. My bedroom window was already open, it was a perfect opportunity. I jumped the fence into my backyard and opened the door to the shed. I started to morph into an owl. I could feel my nose elongate into a beak and my feet turn into talons. Before I knew it I was a full grown owl. I flew out of the shed and towards my bedroom window. I flew into my dark bedroom, but with my keen owl eyes I found that my room was completely bare. I started to demorph on my bed. I could hear low whispers from below and just slight crying. When I had fully demorphed, I became aware of how tired I actually was. I collapsed on my bed as I was.

I woke up the next morning with the worst headache imaginable. At first, I wondered why I felt so depressed, and then it all came back to me. I went to have a shower I would normally have waited an hour for. When I walked into the kitchen, my parents were sitting at the table sipping tea and talking quietly to one another. Silent tears were rolling down my mother's cheeks. My father just looked shocked, like he didn't know what to do anymore.

On my entrance my mother pounced up and started to squeeze me in what she obviously thought was a hug. I just stood there, arms by my side and expression unreadable.

"Oh, Jake, I am so sorry," she whispered. "You shouldn't have run off like that. Marco, his dad and Rachel's family came over when they heard."

I remained silent.

"If I hadn't have checked your room one more time for you, we would still be out looking for you," she continued, breaking away from me and staring into my eyes. "I rang the school to tell them you'll be away for at least a week."

I had almost forgotten that today was Monday and that school had started.

"Rachel and her sisters are staying home too," my dad said in a husky voice. "Maybe Marco."

He said this as though I was planning to meet up with them. But I had no intention of meeting with them.

"Jake, next time don't ignore your phone when we try to ring you up," my mum said, desperately, as though wanting me to speak. "Where is your mobile?"

I thought I'd save her the pain of worrying, so I spoke.

"I broke it when I was trying to answer it," I lied. I used to hate lying to my parents, but ever since that fateful night we met Elfangor and discovered the blue morphing box, it's been like a second language.

"Do you want breakfast?" my mum asked. "I can make you some if you like."

"No thanks," I said. "I might just go out for a bit, if that's all right."

"Yeah," my dad said, dismally.

I walked towards the front door, but just before I opened it, I heard my mum burst out crying again and my father talking quietly with her.

I walked down the street, thinking desperately of just flying away to some foreign country to get away from everything. The Yeerks, family, friends… the Animorphs.

I mean, it's not like I couldn't have stopped Tom being murdered. I could have prevented it, if only I had worked harder and faster. I shouldn't have been lazy. I should have gotten to work. And now because of my laziness Tom was…

I could see the blame in my parent's eyes when they looked at me. That morning Tom died, he asked me to go to the sharing with him. I refused to go because the Sharing is an organisation run by the Yeerks. I try to avoid it as much as possible. But if I had gone, maybe I could have stopped the Yeerks from murdering him. It was all my fault and everyone knew it.

I was walking fast, and didn't even realise where my feet was carrying me. I had walked right into the construction site where we first met the dying Elfangor. I looked around in contempt. I hated Elfangor at that moment. I hated Tom. I hated everyone in the world. But out of all the people in the world I hated the most, I hated myself. Why couldn't I just gone with him to the Sharing? It would have been simpler to have gone with him. It would have spared everyone so much pain.

((Jake, what are you doing?)) Tobias' voice filled my head.

I looked up and saw a red tailed hawk circling overhead. Tobias flew down and landed on a piece of wood sticking out of the unfinished building.

"Were you following me?" I demanded, angrily.

((Marco and Rachel both stayed home from school today and went to your house, but you weren't there so they were getting worried.))

"Yeah, well they shouldn't," I said, bitterly. "And you shouldn't be following me."

((We were worried!)) Tobias said indignantly.

"I can take care of myself," I said angrily.

"Oh yes, a really great way to look after yourself, nearly getting yourself killed and exposing us," a snide, angry voice said from behind me.

I spun around and found Marco and a red eyed Rachel hurrying towards us.

Marco had spoken. He looked very angry, which was weird because he always has this happy go lucky expression plastered on.

Rachel looked like she had been crying, which wasn't a surprise for anyone, but this was Rachel, I thought she'd have been stronger than that.

"What were you thinking about last night?" Marco demanded. "Do you know how much trouble you've caused us?"

"Not now Marco," I snapped.

"Then when?" he snapped back. "Look, I understand how you must be feeling at the moment, but you can't do something stupid like that."

"Oh, yeah?" I said angrily. "How about you? You do stupid things all the time. Why can't I have a go at it?"

"Your mum was crying last night and you didn't even tell her you were home," he raged.

((Marco leave it will you?)) Tobias whispered in thought speech.

"Where's Cassie?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"She had to go to school," Marco replied, grumpily.

"Jake, about last night…" Rachel sobbed, but I interrupted.

"No, I don't want to hear it," I said.

"I was just going to say I'm really sorry about Tom," Rachel said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

I looked away from her, trying to keep my face expressionless and trying to act like I had gotten over it. But Marco and Rachel knew me too well.

"Hey, man, it's not your fault, you know that don't you?" Marco said suddenly, looking at me with an unreadable expression.

"I never said it was," I said, keeping my voice level, even though I was shaking in the inside. "Did you want something?" I asked them a bit more harshly then I had intended.

"We just wanted to see if you were okay," Rachel sniffed.

"I'm fine. I've got to go," I attempted to move away, but Marco stepped out in front of me.

"Look, we're meeting at Cassie's barn when she finishes from school, we'll see you there all right?"

"Whatever," I said, walking around him and towards the mall.


	4. Rachel

**Rachel**

"You know what I think?" Marco asked.

"No and thank god I don't," I said dully.

"Well, Rachel," he said to me. "You're going to find out. I think Jake blames himself."

"You just figured that out now?" I asked as Marco, Tobias who was flying up ahead, and I walked down a street in town. "I figured that out last night when he was tearing the heads off every controller in the town hall."

"Yes, well Xena, we're not all professionals on emotions like you."

"Why does he blame himself, though?" I asked, suddenly.

((Because he's Jake,)) Tobias suggested from overhead.

Marco looked up at him.

"You know Birdman has a point," he said. "Jake thinks everything that goes wrong is his fault."

"I feel sorry for his parents, though," I said, feeling as though I was about to break down. I was never the one to cry, but Tom was my cousin and I cared about him. I hated to think what it must mean for Jake.

"Of course, did you see them last night," Marco commented. "That was awkward."

"Oh, very mature Marco," I growled. "They have just lost a son and what was worse was Jake didn't even show up. I would be upset too."

((Guys, isn't it time to get to Cassie's barn?)) Tobias thought spoke.

I looked down at my watch. It was thirteen minutes past three.

"Yeah," I said. "We better get going if we want to be on time."

We started heading to Cassie's barn which was on the outskirts of town so by the time we reached it, everyone was there. Except Jake.

"Hey, where's our fearless leader?" asked Marco, trying to lighten up the mood, which was hard seeing as someone just died.

Cassie was sitting on a bale of hay, looking as depressed as I felt. Ax in human form looked just like it. He would know what it would have felt like to lose a brother, seeing as Elfangor had died.

Tobias flew into the rafters, Marco settled himself on a bale of hay near to Cassie's but I decided to stand.

"He's not here yet," Cassie said, answering Marco's question. "This is a good thing, because we need to talk."

"I think we should demote him from leader," Marco said hurriedly.

"What?" I demanded. "We can't demote him."

"You saw how he acted yesterday," Marco reasoned. "It's not a personal thing and it's not a permanent thing. All he'll think about is getting revenge and that could jeopardise everything."

"It does make sense," Cassie said thoughtfully.

"You can't be supporting him!" I said angrily to Cassie.

"He could kill us all," Marco said. "I mean I feel sorry for the guy, I wish this never happened, but it has and we have to deal with it."

"We shouldn't have told him there was a meeting today," I said. "He should have time by himself, not worrying about this."

There was an awkward silence. Ax shifted nervously, obviously not sure whether to back his "prince" or go against him for the good of everyone. I knew where I stood. And I knew where Marco stood. It was the others I had to convince.

((Did anyone say anything at school today?)) Tobias asked Cassie, trying to break the tension.

"It's the talk of the school," Cassie said solemnly. "Everywhere I go everyone's talking about it."

"Great," I said, disgustedly. "Just what Jake needs."

"Where is he anyway?" Marco asked, looking down at his watch.

"Maybe he heard you were demoting him," I sneered, unpleasantly.

"I'm just doing what I think is best for this small army," he snapped back.

"How long do you think we'll last without Jake?" I asked.

"It'll just be until this blows over," Marco said, standing up.

"When is it going to blow over?" I raged. "Tom's not going to resurrect and Jake's always going to be angry over this."

"It doesn't mean that he has to get back into this right away," Cassie said softly.

I turned on her angrily. "You're siding with him?" I demanded. "I thought you liked Jake!"

"That's why I think he should step down," she replied calmly.

"This is ridiculous! Do you agree with them?" I asked, turning towards Tobias.

((I think he needs a break, but I don't think we should demote him.))

"It's settled then," I said triumphantly.

"Not so fast, Xena," Marco said snidely. "It's a draw. Two votes each way."

We all turned our heads towards Ax.

"I refuse to vote," he said calmly. "It is of not my concern."

"How is it not your concern?" I asked. "Jake is the leader of the only resistance on Earth. You must vote."

"I refuse to vote," he repeated.

"That's it then," Marco said.

"No it's not, you have to change your vote," I said angrily.

"I will not."

We all started talking at the same time. Each saying their own point, no one listening to the other.

"BE QUIET!"

A loud, angry voice echoed around the barn. Silence fell instantly as everyone stared at the newcomer standing in the entrance of the barn. Jake.

"What the hell is going on?"

We just stared at each other, unsure what to say. Jake was obviously very angry.

"Oh, I see," Jake strode into the middle of the barn and looked at us. He looked like a military officer surveying new officers with disproval.

"Let me see if I get this straight," he said, evenly. "Half of you want to kick me out of the group, which I am certain; the leader of that group would be Marco."

Marco blushed furiously. He opened his mouth to say something, but Jake silenced him as he continued.

"The other half, still have faith in me. That group lead by Rachel. Am I correct in thinking that Ax won't vote which makes a tie?"

I looked down at my shoes and when I looked back at Jake I was shocked to see that the anger in his eyes hadn't vanished.


	5. Cassie

**Cassie**

Jake was angry. Not just angry, super angry. He looked at me like I was a Yeerk.

"Jake if you'd just calm down," I said standing up and walking towards him. "You know it's alright to express your feelings."

I don't know what I expected his reaction from that would be. I just know I didn't expect him to do what he did next.

"Damn it, Cassie," he shouted. Secretly I thanked God my parents were out. "You might be into this emotional crap, but I don't buy it, so just back off!"

I was stunned and by the looks of my friends around me I knew they were stunned as well.

I walked back to my bale of hay and sat back down. I felt like I was going to cry. Jake had never treated anyone that way. It wasn't like him.

((She was only trying to help, Jake,)) Tobias said softly.

"Look, if you want to be all emotional, that's your business, but do it in your own time!"

Tobias remained quiet. I felt bad for him. He only meant to help me and he had been with Rachel's cause.

"Jake, we were just thinking that maybe you might need a break," Marco said, sheepishly.

Jake shot him a deathly stare. Marco looked shocked but didn't falter.

"After what happened last night and yesterday," he let that sink in, then continued. "It seems only fair that you take a break from all this…stuff."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do," Jake snapped.

"You know I sympathize with you and all," Marco snapped back, "but you need to stop acting like a jerk."

"If I remember correctly, Marco, you were not only a self centred jerk when your mother died, but you expressed your emotions freely."

I looked at Marco and could literally see his insides crumble. I felt so sorry for him. I couldn't believe what Jake just said and neither apparently could Jake.

He looked around him like he'd just awaken up from a dream. He grabbed a bunch of his hair and looked like he was attempting to pull it out. He looked at Marco like he was seeing him for the first time.

"I'm so sorry, man," he said. "I didn't mean it."

"Don't worry about it, man," Marco said, slapping his friend on the shoulder in a kind of happy way, even though I knew he had taken it personally. "I know you're having a hard time, so don't think too much of it."

Jake still looked troubled and I had a terrible urge to run over to him and comfort him, but then there was a ringing. Jake reached in his pocket and pulled out a brand new mobile. Jake looked at it with disgust. Pity gifts. I would have despised it too. He flipped it open and spoke in it.

"Hello?" he said dully.

He listened intently for a minute. His expression changed from dull to confused then to excitement, which I thought was extremely unnecessary considering everything.

"Okay, thanks, bye," he hung up and turned to face us.

"That was Erek," he said.

Erek was a Chee.

"Hey, how'd he get your mobile number when I don't even have it?" Marco said suddenly, obviously trying to keep up Jake's sudden change of behaviour.

"He's a Chee," Jake said simply as though this solved the problem. "He thinks that there's been another underground infiltration Yeerk pool."

((Do you really think we should bust their party now?)) Tobias asked, uncertainly.

"Why not?" Jake demanded.

"Well because Tom…" Rachel started to say, but Jake cut in.

"I am not spending my life grieving over something I have no control over,' he said this as though he was convincing himself more than the rest of us. "We can do this tonight."

"Where is this infiltration?" Ax asked.

"Beneath the mall," Jake said, looking at Rachel with something like humour.

Rachel was a mall freak.

"As long as you're sure about this Jake," I said, quietly, not wanting another outburst.

"I'm sure," he said, looking anywhere but at me.


	6. Marco II

**Marco**

Jake had left first. I think he felt awkward just staying there after that outburst.

((You didn't take it personally did you Marco?)) Tobias asked me.

"No," I said, but it did hurt. "He's just cut up. I don't blame him."

"How about you Cassie?" Rachel asked, as Cassie wiped away a stray tear.

"Marco's right," she said. "Jake's trying to pretend nothing's wrong, that he can handle it. Maybe we put too much pressure on him that he feels obliged to feel like this."

We just stayed there thinking about that for a moment. We all knew that the pressure for being leader would finally make Jake burst, I had teased him about it a number of times before, but now the danger of him finally bursting was drawing nearer and nearer.

"We can go along with it tonight," I said, trying to reason with everyone. "But if something goes wrong we take control, we don't follow his orders. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Cassie said, quickly.

"I'm not agreeing to anything," Rachel said stubbornly.

((If something goes wrong that Jake can't handle then yeah, we'll take control,)) Tobias said, although rather reluctantly.

"Three against one, Rachel. You're out numbered," I said, rather harshly.

Rachel just shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the barn.

"It has to be done," I said miserably.

"Maybe we should ask Prince Jake what he wants," Ax said.

"He won't admit that he's hurting," Cassie said.

For a moment I hated her. She was over emotional, just like Jake had said, even though he was just angry.

"I'll see you tonight," I said, and walked out.


	7. Rachel II

**Rachel**

I was angry. Really angry, not just with myself, because I was angry with myself, but with Marco. He was Jake's friend and he was demoting him. I wanted to go over to Jake's house and tell him what they were planning to do; but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I reached home a complete mess. I had started to cry again, which was quite unlike me. Dad had come down from the city for Tom's funeral and was staying on our couch. I had never seen him cry before, now I have.

As soon as I walked in the house, the first thing I saw was mum and dad sitting on the couch leafing through our photo albums. At least they weren't yelling at each other.

"What's going on?" I asked when I walked through the door.

"We're just looking at some photos," mum sniffed. "Want to see?"

I walked over. Mum wasn't usually an emotional person, but she was now.

I sat down in between them and looked down at the open page and gave a little laugh. It was a picture of Jake and Tom when Jake was about three. Tom had Jake in a head lock and Jake was balling his eyes out. It was cute. You'd never have guessed that Jake would have turned out to be the leader of a small army on Earth.

"Jake's grown, hasn't he?" dad said after a while.

"Jake's mum was over here before," mum said.

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, trying to be polite.

"Yeah, was worried about Jake," she continued. "He doesn't eat or speak much."

"What?" I asked, startled. "Jake doesn't eat?"

"Yeah," dad said, almost pitifully. "He doesn't speak either. It's like he's withdrawing himself."

"Has he said anything to you?" mum asked.

"Well, it's not like we talk much," I said. Now that I thought about it, Jake did look kind of thin and he doesn't talk unless it's about the Yeerks.

"If he said anything, would you tell us?" mum said. "His parents are really worried."

"Yeah, sure," I said as I looked down at the two boys again.

We were due to meet again at Cassie's barn five minutes to eight, but I went straight over to Jake's. I caught him as he was walking out of the house. I could hear his parents screaming at him as he was leaving.

I reached him as he slammed the door. He didn't say anything to his mother as he left and when he saw me he didn't say anything either, he just fell into step beside me.

"Hey cousin," I said, trying to be joyful.

He just kept walking, not a 'hey Rachel, how are you going?' nothing.

"I was speaking to my mum today and she said your mum is pretty worried abut you," I said trying to get something out of him.

Nothing, he just kept walking.

"She said you don't eat or speak," I pushed. "But that's not true, is it? I mean you were speaking to us before."

Still nothing.

"But do you eat Jake? Do you talk to your parents?"

Still nothing. We were now drawing closer and closer to Cassie's barn and I knew I had to finish this conversation soon.

"If you don't speak to me, I'm going to have to tell everyone," I said, kind of pathetic, but I wanted him to talk…I needed him to talk.

"Look Rachel," he said. "I'm fine, what you heard is a load of crap. I eat and I speak."

"Then how come you didn't speak to me before?" I asked, glad that he was speaking.

"Because I wanted to frighten you," he smiled, a weird, fake smile, that didn't match him at all.

We reached Cassie's barn with everyone already there. I was starting to feel sick. I had a bad feeling about what's going to happen tonight, but I didn't say anything. To protect my reputation.

"Okay," I said, trying to sound like nothing was wrong. "Let's do it."

We flew to the mall. Jake didn't talk once even though I was trying to make some conversation about how the Yeerks couldn't possibly think about building a Yeerk Pool under the mall.

We landed outside the mall in a sort of alley. It was past closing time and the streets were really dark. We started to demorph. I finished demorphing. I was human first and without a second thought, started morphing into my grizzly bear. I could make out the others coming out of their morphs fast and then gradually morph into their combat morphs. Jake was morphing a tiger, Cassie a wolf, Marco a gorilla and Tobias and Ax staying in their original shapes.

((Let's go,)) I said, hurriedly as Marco finished morphing.

We raced out of the alley and to the front of the mall. It was locked obviously.

((Marco, some assistance please)) I said, impatiently. I just wanted to get this over with.

Marco slammed his body against the double glass doors and within an instant, the glass broke and we ran through it. The mall seemed completely empty. There was no one inside and for a moment I thought maybe Erik got the wrong information, but then I saw what I had missed. A big, large hole in the middle of the mall. I walked carefully to the edge and peered down. It was a cavern, a large cavern. There was a giant Yeerk pool in the centre of the cavern. People surrounded the Yeerk Pool, many in cages. There were many Hork-Bajirs and at one side standing with one person by his side was Visser Three. I looked closer at the person standing next to him, trying to see if I could recognise him. Unfortunately I did. Tom.


	8. Jake III

**Jake**

I stared. I wasn't seeing properly. I thought I saw Tom standing next to Visser Three. But that's impossible. Tom is dead. I started to demorph, hardly aware of what I was doing.

((Jake, no,)) someone was protesting about me morphing. But why? Didn't they realise that Tom was alive? I still had a brother.

((Jake, listen to me)) it was Cassie, in her wolf morph. She trotted over to me. ((You have to morph back. They might have you on camera.))

I was hardly paying attention to her. I was staring down at Tom speaking softly with Visser Three.

((Jake, man, you have to snap out of this, Marco snapped. ((Save it for another day.))

I was hardly aware that my friends were morphing in front of my eyes. All I could do was think about Tom. He was supposed to be dead, but he was right there talking to Visser Three.

"We should get out of here," I heard Cassie say softly to the others, once they were fully human. "We could be on camera."

((The cameras have been taken down,)) I heard Tobias say. ((There are no cameras around.))

"Still, we need to get him out of here," Marco said, pointing his finger at me. "They could see us." He said, now pointing down towards the Yeerks.

((What do you mean the plan failed!)) Visser Three roared suddenly. Everything just went quiet.

I saw Tom mutter something under his breath.

((I promoted you for a reason, why do you continue to disappoint me?)) Visser Three growled.

Suddenly Visser Three started to change shape. He grew bigger, more menacing and I knew what he was turning into. He was turning into the same creature that he had morphed into to swallow Elfangor that night at the construction site. I felt sick and I knew what was going to happen. And so did everyone else in the cavern because they started to chant horribly.

"No," I whispered as Visser Three finished morphing and leapt towards Tom. I started forwards, but I felt strong hands grab me around the neck and pull me back. I was chucked forcefully on the floor and saw Marco come into my view. He was the one that had pulled me back and was now pinning down my arms as Rachel sat on my legs. My vision was blocked, however, as Cassie brought her hands over my eyes, but nobody blocked my ears. I could hear Marco and Tobias saying over and over again that it wasn't my fault, Rachel and Cassie sobbing, the chanting and the terrible screams.

I shouted till my voice was hoarse, but it didn't matter. Too many hands were keeping me down and nobody heard me over all the screams and chanting.

When, finally, the screaming stopped and the chanting took a halt, I heard a cruel evil voice in my head.

((Tasty,)) was all Visser Three said.

I just lay there, breathing deeply, feeling numb with three kids holding me down, a bird watching over us and an alien somewhere nearby.

Finally, Marco slowly let go of my arms and Rachel stood up. Cassie lifted her hand slowly from my face and I sat up, avoiding all eye contact and wishing I could just crawl in a corner and die.

Suddenly I felt cold and started to shiver. I put my head between my knees and took deep steadying breaths, but that didn't stop the pain. I felt Cassie's arm around me and Marco's hand on my shoulder, but I didn't look up.

((Prince Jake, I don't mean to seem rude, but we must move from here,)) Ax said softly to me.

"Come on, Jake," Marco said, taking me under the arm and pulling me to my feet.

I saw Rachel and for a moment I didn't recognise her. She was tear-stained and still crying. Cassie was supporting her like Marco was supporting me.

I hadn't started crying yet, but it wouldn't take long. I felt like crap. The pain was too unbearable. I felt like every step towards that door was taking so much effort.

We reached the alley where we had morphed. Tobias flew overhead, saying nothing. There was nothing to say. Ax stayed back from the rest of us, flitting in the shadows. Marco let go of me when we were deep within the alley. I felt dizzy as soon as I was standing on my own two feet and started to stumble.

"Whoa, whoa," Marco said as he grabbed me before I hit the ground. I've never seen Marco cry before, but I swear he had a tear in his eye then.

He slid me down to the ground just as Rachel arrived supported by Cassie. Rachel sat down on the ground next to me and started sobbing uncontrollably. I just sat there, feeling numb with pain.

Cassie, Marco, Tobias and Ax stood apart, but I could hear what they were saying.


	9. Marco III

**Marco**

"I'll take Rachel home, you take Jake home," Cassie said to me. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, but I could tell she was trying to be strong.

"He's not going to be able to morph," I choked as to my surprise tears ran down my cheeks too.

((Rachel could morph if you comforted her, Tobias said. ((But Jake won't be able to. He just watched his brother get killed.))

"Can we please not talk about that," I said. "I could walk Jake home, but I'd need some cover," I said pointedly to Tobias.

"Alright, I'll get Rachel to morph and Marco and Tobias can go with Jake," Cassie said. "Ax can come with me."

I walked over to Jake and sat down next to him. He just sat there. He had this expression on his face as though he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Hey did you hear that, buddy?" I said as softly as I could with him still hearing me with Rachel sobbing hysterically in the background. "We're going to get you home. Come on."

I tried to pull him up, but damn, the boy had muscles. I looked over at Cassie, she had already convinced Rachel to morph to owl and with Ax they were just about to take off.

((Be strong, Jake,)) Cassie said as she took off, followed by Rachel and Ax.

((Come on Jake,)) Tobias said in thought speak to Jake. ((We have to get out of here.))

"You'll be alright," I said to him. "Just come on."

I don't know how I managed to get Jake home in one piece. It wasn't a long walk to his house from the mall, but Jake had to stop a couple of times to get his head around what was happening. He had said nothing since the mall and I was starting to get worried.

We reached Jake's house and I knocked on the door, while Jake just leant against the wall, looking like he might just drop dead and Tobias waited calmly in a tree.

Finally the door opened and I saw Jake's mum standing at the door, looking bewildered. Then she saw Jake.

"Oh my gosh," she practically screamed. "Jake are you alright?"

She pushed him into the house, looking extremely worried.

"Marco what happened?" she asked me.

"He just said he's not feeling well," I lied and although I had become very good at lying, I knew she could tell it was more than that.

Jake stood inside the house, looking as though he might throw up. I decided it was my time to leave.

"I better get home, my dad is probably worrying, you know," I muttered and turned to leave.

"Jake's father can drop you off if you want or we could ring up your dad," Jake's mum said.

"No thanks, really I'd rather just walk home," I thanked her again and left.


	10. Jake IV

**Jake**

Marco left and I was left standing there with my mum looking at me as if I would drop dead at any moment. I probably would.

"Come on, you're going to bed," my mum said and lead me up the stairs towards my bedroom.

I wanted to scream out to her, to tell her everything that happened, but I knew I couldn't.

When we reached my bedroom she lowered me gently on the bed. She turned to leave, but I grabbed her, feeling vulnerable at that moment.

"Why did he have to die?" I choked, hot tears forming in my eyes.

"Hey," my mum lowered herself down on my bed and sat next to me, turning my head so I was forced to look at her. "It's all right."

"No it's not," I sobbed, the first time I have cried since I was a kid, but I didn't care anymore. "He's dead and it's all my fault."

"Jake, this is not your fault," my mum said, almost angrily. "This is not your fault."

"What if I could save him but someone was holding me back?" I asked, tears streaming down my face, uncontrollably.

"This is not your fault," my mum said again, hugging me tight as I continued to sob.

"Don't leave me," I begged as I completely broke down in her arms.


	11. Rachel III

**Rachel**

Cassie and Ax had taken me home to my frantic mother. I had collapsed in her arms as soon as she opened the door. Cassie stayed a while trying to calm me down with the help of my mum and dad. When I had finally calmed down, Cassie, Ax and I went upstairs to talk a bit when we were visited by a red tailed hawk and an osprey. Tobias and Marco. Jake was having a hard time. According to Marco, Jake couldn't walk by himself and had to stop constantly when they were walking back. I hadn't been much better, but at least I could morph.

When I thought about it, Jake had it the worst out of all of us in this stupid war and it had gotten a whole lot worse for him.

We stayed up most of the night talking. It was strange, it was the first time that any of us could talk about our feelings so openly. I felt guilty that Jake wasn't with us, but I didn't expect we'd get anything out of him. We sat in silence for a while, thinking about everything that had happened that night, trying to get our heads around it and by the end of that silence Cassie's parents had driven over to pick her up and Marco's dad had rang Jake's mum that rang Rachel's mum and he was forced to leave. Tobias and Ax finally left out the window and I was left all by myself to cry myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning wondering why the hell my pillow was so moist, and then I remembered.

"Hey, how are you this morning?" my dad was standing in the doorway.

"Fine," I mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"If you want to talk about anything, I'm here for you," he said, quietly.

"Thanks dad, but I'm fine."

He looked at me shrewdly.

"Alright, then," and he walked away.

I flopped back down on my pillow feeling like someone had just stomped me flat.


	12. Jake V

**Jake**

"Please make me dead, please make me dead," I muttered under my breath as I opened my stinging eyes from a restless sleep.

I wanted to cry as I replayed the scenes of last night in my head. Marco seemed way too calm. Tobias showed no emotion. I didn't see Cassie shed a tear. Ax was emotionless as ever. Only Rachel seemed to care. Of course she was related to Tom. But would she care if she wasn't?

I got out of bed and had a quick shower, in which time I thought of maybe drowning myself and then dressed. I went down and found both my parents sitting at the table, sipping tea quietly.

"Good morning Jake," my dad said, quietly.

"Morning," I mumbled.

"How are you feeling today?" my mum asked, softly.

"Alright," I answered. A lie. A big, huge lie.

"Jake, the funeral is on Friday," my dad said, almost hesitantly as though I was going to burst.

"Alright," I answered.

"But Jake, there's something else," my mum looked at me worriedly. "You'd better sit down."

What could be more devastating than what had already happened?

I sat down on a chair opposite to my dad and looked at them uncertainly.

"Tom's body was stolen from the morgue yesterday evening," my mum sniffed, tears rolling down her cheek. "There's not going to be a body at the funeral."

I wanted to shout out to them, to scream to them that this wasn't true. That Tom had been eaten by an alien. But I couldn't.

"Can I go out?" I asked them, recovering from my shock.

"You haven't eaten," my dad said.

"I'm not hungry," I answered simply, although that was completely untrue.

"You haven't eaten in ages, Jake, when do you plan to eat?" my mum asked, raising her voice.

"Later," I said, turning towards the door.

"You need to eat Jake. Are you going to starve yourself to death?"

"Later," I shouted back, opening the front door and slamming it closed behind me.

I walked down the street wanting to just run away and never come back. I was out for quite a while. I stayed out walking past school times.

"Jake?" a voice called from behind me. I turned around to find Marco jogging up towards me. "What are you doing man?"

I shrugged and continued to walk.

"How are you man? That was rough last night," he had this expression on his face, I couldn't quite get.

"Don't worry about it Marco," I said, keeping my voice expressionless.

"Don't worry about it?" he echoed, sounding amazed. "Jake, you know it's all right to share your feelings on this."

"Share my feelings?" I asked. "When did you become Dr. Phil?"

"I'm just worried about you, man," he said. "We all are."

"Well you can stop worrying," I said. "I'm fine."

"Oh yeah?" Marco asked, almost angrily. "You didn't talk last night. Not once. You just watched your brother get killed and you're alright? Who are you fooling Jake?"

"Just drop it, Marco," I said, fiercely. "I'm sick of you thinking you're top."

"Hey, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have gotten home last night," he shot back. "Look I know how you must be feeling right now…"

"How would you know how I'm feeling?" I yelled. I stopped in the middle of the street, glaring at him. "You and your perfect little world! You've got it made you know that Marco?"

"I've got it made?" he echoed again. "Jake, we're all in this together. You're not the only one who's lost someone."

"No, Marco, the difference between your loss and my loss is that your loss was only temporary. My loss is for real."

I turned around and started walking back down the street. I didn't know where I intended on going or what I intended to do, all I knew was that I needed to do something with myself before I would explode. I was aware that Marco was following me. The others probably decided to baby sit me so I wouldn't do anything rash. Probably a good idea.

Then suddenly I wasn't walking down the street anymore. I don't think I was even on Earth anymore. I was standing in some kind of oblivion. I turned around sharply. Marco was still standing behind me, looking surprised. But Marco and I weren't the only ones there. Rachel was standing next to a bewildered Cassie. Tobias and Ax, in their original selves.

"Great," Marco snapped. "Another warm visit. Who's this from now? Ellimist?"

"Surely you jest?" came a deep voice. I knew straight away who it was and it was no Ellimist.

In the centre of our tiny circle popped a huge red eyeball. Crayak.

"What do you want Crayak?" I asked, snapping into leader mode.

"You don't know?" Crayak sneered. "Big Jake doesn't know?"

"What do you want?" I repeated.

"Seeing though you are going through a hard time at the moment," he turned to me at that moment and smiled. "I thought I'd make it a bit easier for you."

"No," I said straight away, not even thinking about considering what he was offering.

"What, you won't hear me out?" Crayak asked, faking the hurt tone in his voice.

"What is it, if it will please you," Cassie said. I turned to look at her angrily. She shrugged.

"I will give you power among your wildest imagination. Power and freedom. Freedom for you and your family," he smiled. "For just one price."

((And what is that?)) Tobias asked.

"For the human race."

"No," I said as soon as he had finished his sentence.

"What so soon?" Crayak sneered. "Think about it. Rachel did."

I turned to Rachel angrily. Her face had grown hot, but she returned my glare.

"I said no," I repeated.

"You are a foolish being, Jake," Crayak hissed. "A perfect opportunity has arisen and you refuse to take it?"

I remained silent, staring at him with such hate.

"You have more potential than the others put together. Even Rachel," Crayak continued. "You are the most dangerous being on Earth. Your greatest threat fears you above everything and everyone else. Why waste all your energy on saving this pitiful planet. You could do so much for yourself and for your family."

"Are you finished?" I asked.

"What is your answer Great Jake?"

"Is it a habit of yours to ask the same question over again when you know what the answer is going to be?" I snapped. "For the last time, no. I am not giving up the Earth for my own benefit."

Crayak glared at me and I knew I was in for it.

"No one says no to me!" he shouted furious and before I had time to answer he had disappeared. I turned around to face the others and there he was standing behind me: Tom.


	13. Cassie II

**Cassie**

Jake didn't know what to do. He just stood there face to face with his dead brother. Except he was alive. But it wasn't him. I knew it and Jake certainly knew it. He had this face of hatred that really scared me. Crayak was taking out revenge on Jake by doing something horrible like this.

"You killed me Jake," Tom/Crayak whispered horribly to Jake. "You killed me."

"No," Jake said, walking slowly back while Tom slowly walked forward.

Jake had a face of pure terror. I wanted to rush out to him and pull him close, but I somehow couldn't move.

"You couldn't save me, could you?" Tom continued, to a stricken Jake. "You were too weak, too foolish. It's your entire fault."

"Stop it!" someone screamed, visciously and to my surprise that someone was me.

"What will our parents say?" Tom continued. "You killed your big brother. Oh, and you loved it, didn't you Jake? You wanted me dead. You wanted Visser Three to eat me, because it was one less burden for you, isn't that true?"

"No, it's not true," Jake repeated, finding himself pressed against a wall.

"You killed me, Jake," Tom said, with a smile on his face. "I will never forgive you and you can never forgive yourself."

"No!" I yelled suddenly, breaking free of my trance and lunging forward, but by the time I had reached Crayak, I was instead lunging towards a horse in my barn, Rachel and Tobias staring at empty space. We were back to where we were before.


	14. Jake VI

**Jake**

I was back standing where I had been a couple of minutes ago. A couple of feet ahead of Marco. I felt dizzy and started to lose my footing. I heard running feet behind me and felt Marco steady me.

"Hey, man, you alright?" Marco asked me. I could barely hear him; all I heard was a strange buzzing sound.

"I killed him," I whispered.

"Don't be an idiot," he said to me. "Crayak just said that to wind you up. It's not true."

"Yeah, but if I had just…"

"No," Marco said firmly, "this is not your fault. This is the Yeerk's fault. You could do nothing."

"We need to get to Cassie's barn," I said, ignoring Marco and feeling just as guilty before he opened his big mouth. "I need to speak with the others."

"Yeah, sure," Marco said and together we walked slowly towards Cassie's barn, not talking much and me ignoring Marco's reassurance that this was not my fault. Like he'd know.

As I expected they were all there, except Ax. I looked at Rachel, but she carefully avoided my gaze. Cassie started to run up to me, but I put out a hand to stop her. She stopped, looking embarrassed and hurt. Suddenly in rushed in a handsome boy with a mixture of me, Rachel, Marco and Cassie. Ax.

"I came here quickly, Prince Jake," he said. I nodded.

((Jake, you know this is not your fault,)) Tobias said.

I gave him a piercing look that was even sharper than his hawk glare. He kept quiet after that.

"About that deal Crayak was offering," I said, looking around at them all, especially Rachel. "I seriously hope none of you were thinking of taking up that offer."

"Of course not, Prince Jake," Ax said immediately.

((Not for a minute,)) Tobias reassured.

"It would be nice to know that my family was safe from the Yeerks," Cassie said. "But I don't think I would ever give up the human race like that."

'I agree with Cassie," Marco said.

"Rachel?" I asked, furiously turning towards her and finally meeting my gaze.


	15. Rachel IV

**Rachel**

I swear I was scared of Jake at that moment. There are hardly any moments when he is truly angry, but he was then and it scared me.

"I wouldn't give up the human race," I said staring him in the eyes.

But he wasn't satisfied.

"No?" he asked as he slowly walked up to me. Jake was a tall boy. Very tall, but right then, he looked like he was twice the size of Michael Jordan. "What did you have to think about then, Rachel?"

"I didn't have to think about anything," I said.

"What deal did you make with Crayak?" Jake demanded red in the face, from trying to keep his anger under control. What a failure.

"I didn't make any deal with Crayak," I answered truthfully.

"Okay then," Jake said, giving me a penetrating stare. "What deal did he make that you had to think about?"

"It's nothing," I lied, turning away from him.

He grabbed my arm and hurled me back towards him.

"Tell me," he snapped.

"It's nothing!" I repeated.

"If you don't tell me right now so help me…"

I never realised Jake had this little vein that pops out on his forehead when he's mad.

Did I mention Jake was angry? 'Cause if I didn't then I'll tell you now that he was really angry. I mean really angry. Out of control angry.

"Crayak wanted to give me power for something in return," I said, trying to break the stare.

"Rachel, what did he want in return?"

"Your life," I whispered ashamed of myself. "He wanted me to kill you."

I could see the look of betrayal in Jake's eyes. The hurt, the suffering… the anger.

"And you thought about that?" He roared and at that moment I thanked God Cassie's parents were out. "For power you would have killed me?"

"I said no," I said quickly, defensively.

"If it had been to kill me for the sake of the world then I would have let you kill me willingly," he shouted, absolutely furious. "But you would have killed me for power? Who are you?"

That hurt.

"I said no!" I shouted back, tears starting to form.

"You're weak Rachel," Jake shouted. "Crayak knows you want power and now he's got you where he wants you. How can I trust you?"

"I'm sorry!" I shouted, the tears pelting down. "I didn't mean to think about it."

"But you did! You thought about it. Have you ever thought about any one but yourself?"

"I'm sorry!" I shouted again. "What would you have done? Think about the power, Jake!"

I couldn't believe I just said that. Who am I?

Jake looked at me. I could see the others behind him, staring open mouthed at me; each one of them looked betrayed.

"I would have said no," he hissed. "I would never kill anybody for power."

"I didn't mean it like that," I started, but then I changed course almost instantly. "You think you're so great. You think you're the best," I raged. "But you're the one who's weak. You have no spine, Jake. When we go to war, you don't even think about destroying the enemy, all you think about is the lives."

"Have you gone nuts!" Jake shouted, imitating Marco.

"If it was anybody else in my position, if it was Marco or Cassie you wouldn't treat them like this," I shouted back, wiping away the tears.

"They wouldn't do a stupid think like this!" Jake roared and for a minute I thought I saw the colour of his hair change from brown to orange and black stripes. But then that illusion was over at it was brown again.

I noticed that all the others were behind Jake, backing him up. Nobody was supporting me, not even Tobias.

"You're just trying to punish me for what happened to Tom. It's not like I was the one being held back," I hissed.

Jake's expression fell and I knew I had hit where it most hurt.

((Rachel, that's enough!)) Tobias screamed at me in private thought speech.

"You know what, Rach?" Jake said, sneaking in a smile. "You want power? You've got it. You're the new leader of the Animorphs. Congratulations. I'm out of here."

He walked out and I think he was kind of relieved.

I looked at the others reluctantly. They each gave me a dirty look.

"Well that's it then," Marco said getting up and walking to the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" I demanded. "We have to think about our next mission."

"Are you crazy?" Marco snapped. "Do you really think I'm going to take orders from you? After what you did? To us and Jake? Jake is having a hard time and this is what you throw at him? You've changed Rachel. From crazy to completely nuts."

He walked out.

"Well one less nuisance, I say," I said, staring at the others with a sinking heart.

"I only follow Prince Jake," Ax said, turning to follow Marco out of the door.

((What have you become Rachel?)) Tobias asked quietly, before flying out of the barn.

I looked at Cassie. She avoided eye contact and walked out of the barn. I was left alone, feeling like I should just have kept my mouth shut.


	16. Marco IV

**Marco**

This day couldn't get any worse. Jake was depressed, Crayak had given us another of his friendly visits, Rachel had turned into a psychopath and the Animorphs were over. If there was any such thing as the award for the crappiest day, today would win. I didn't meet up with Jake. He wasn't anywhere within eye range when I walked out of the barn. He might have morphed. I walked home by myself, feeling like the unluckiest person on Earth, although I knew that wasn't true when you compared me to Jake.

I made it home and actually found my dad cooking dinner.

"Hey Marco," he said when I walked through the door. "Chicken tonight? Too bad if you don't like it, making it anyway."

I smiled, at least he seemed happy.

"How's Jake doing?" he asked, suddenly frowning.

"He's not doing great," I said, which was the understatement of the century.

"Poor kid," my dad mumbled as he stirred something in a pot.

"Yeah," I mumbled, thinking about that argument he had with Rachel.

"You think you can cope with school tomorrow?" my dad asked, looking at me suspiciously. "I hope your not taking this death as an opportunity to miss school."

"What?" I asked, surprised. "Who do you think I am?"

"Sorry," he mumbled, going back to stirring. "Wasn't really thinking. I was just remembering how your mum died."

I cringed. I hated keeping the fact that my mum was actually still alive hidden from my dad, but it had to be done.

"Did Jake tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Tom's body was stolen from the morgue."

I nearly slipped off the chair I was sitting on.

"What?"

"Yeah, the funeral is going to be missing a body."

"When's the funeral?" I asked calmly, while silently screaming bloody murder at the Yeerks.

"Friday," my dad answered. "I've got to rent a tux, I think."

This conversation was way to calm for my liking.

"I've got a date tonight, by the way, so you'll be all by yourself tonight," my dad said suddenly.

"Oh, yeah?" I said, totally not interested.

"Yeah," my dad said trying not to look pleased. "After dinner. Want to know with whom?"

"Not really."

He stared at me, shocked and hurt. I felt a bit guilty, but then again why should he find a girlfriend when my mum was still alive? Why should he have fun when there were people getting infested? Why should he have fun when the world has lost its only resistance against the Yeerks? Why should he have fun when I felt like hitchhiking with some junkie only to be inevitably beaten to death when I refuse to sell marijuana?

"You want to talk about something?" he asked me.

"No."

"Well then snap out of it."  
I got up and walked slowly to my bedroom. When I got there I found a certain red tailed hawk sitting on my bed.

"Bird boy, long time no see," I said dully.

Tobias started to morph into his human morph. I waited patiently for him to finish and when he did he was a shaky boy in spandex. I laughed.

"Shut up," he said.

"So what's up?" I asked casually.

"What's up?" he shrieked. "I'll tell you what's up…"

"Keep it down will you?" I said. "My dad didn't exactly see you come into the house remember. It's not like I kept you hidden under my cloak."

"Sorry," he said more quietly.

"So how's your psychotic girlfriend?" I asked with fake cheerfulness.

"I don't know, we all left right after you and Jake left, but she has gone crazy."

"Crazy? She's beyond crazy. If I were Jake I would have slapped her back to oblivion."

"Yeah, but now we're officially screwed," Tobias sighed. "The whole group has disbanded."

"Disbanded?" I repeated, humouredly. "What are we, the musketeers?"

"We wouldn't have lasted without Jake anyway," Tobias continued solemnly as though I hadn't spoken.

Tobias was right, we wouldn't have lasted without Jake and now that we were gone you can literally say bye, bye human race.

I sat down on my bed and sighed.

"What are we going to do now?" Tobias asked.

"You're looking at me?"

"Marco! Dinner!" my dad's shout echoed around the house.

"I got to go," I said.

"Alright," Tobias said as he started to demorph back into a red tailed hawk. "I'll see you later."

He finished demorphing and flew out of the open window.


	17. Tobias

**Tobias**

I didn't know where I was going; all I knew was that I was going somewhere, anywhere, just not here. Jake was depressed, Rachel had gone nuts, the Animorphs were no more and I had no idea what to do. Marco was just like me. I thought of talking to each member and seeing if they would get together again, but I knew that was too much to hope for. Jake was never going to trust Rachel again and I'm not even sure if I trust her. Everyone was angry at Rachel, including me and Jake was too down in the dumps to regain leadership.

Suddenly just below me I saw one very unwelcome person crossing the street. I dove down into a near tree close to where Visser Three in human morph had stopped to talk with a controller outside a large building.

"What about the andalites?" Visser Three asked the controller, a large balding man.

"The trap is set, all we need is for the word to get out," the controller said, importantly.

"Wonderful," Visser Three snarled. "We'll finally have them! Tomorrow night, make sure the men are ready. I am putting my trust in you, don't disappoint me!"

The controller swallowed nervously. "I won't Visser."

"Good, now I have to be somewhere, don't disappoint me," and with that he hopped into a limo parked close by.

I left straight after that. I had to tell someone, anyone what was going on. I actually didn't know exactly what was going on, but I had to tell someone. Any news about the Sharing had to be it.


	18. Cassie III

**Cassie**

I thought I knew Rachel, I really did. I mean she was my best friend, how could I not know her? But how could she do this to Jake? To us? I've always wanted to leave the Animorphs, not quite like this, but it was kind of a relief.

"Cassie, honey, will you at least pretend to like what I've cooked," my dad joked from the head of the table.

I had picked up a piece of carrot and was holding it out in front of me with a disgusted look on my face. Not because I didn't like what he cooked, but because I was thinking about Rachel.

"Sorry," I said. "I was just thinking about school."

"About Jake's brother?" my mum said. "But you hardly knew him."

I shrugged. Suddenly the phone rang. My dad went to pick it up.

"Cassie, it's for you," he said. "Someone named Tobias."

I sighed and walked over to the kitchen where the phone was. My dad handed it to me.

"Hello?" I said in it.

"Cassie," Tobias sounded breathless and scared, but just then I really didn't care. "We have a problem."

"If this is about before, I really don't want to know about it," I said.

"No this is really important," he said, urgently.

"Tobias, I really don't care anymore," I said harshly and for the first time in my life, I hung up without saying goodbye.

I walked back into the dining area and sat down.

"What did Tobias want?" my mum asked casually, although I could tell she was very anxious about it. Probably thought me and Tobias were something.

"Wanted to talk about school," I lied. "Wanted my English notes."


	19. Jake VII

**Jake**

I tell you now, I had one massive headache. I went into the kitchen and took down the packet of Panadol.

"Jake, shouldn't you eat before you take a tablet?" my mum asked as she flicked through the newspaper in the death section, where a huge amount of people were praising Tom for his courageous fight against s supposed mugger. Bull crap.

"I've eaten," I lied, through gritted teeth.

"Have you?" she asked. "Because I haven't seen you eat since Tom's death and you are awfully skinny."

"I've eaten," I repeated.

"Alright, just checking," but she didn't sound convinced.

I took two Panadol's and automatically felt a bit woozy. I stumbled, but grabbed onto the kitchen bench for support.

"Jake, are you alright?" my mum said, standing up and walking towards me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied straightening up.

I lie often about being an Animorph, but I never lie about my health, that was until now. It was true that I hadn't been eaten. I felt sick all the time that I had gotten to the point that I get afraid I'll throw up if I put anything in my mouth. I wasn't like some anorexic teenage girl who's constantly worried about their weight. I just couldn't put food in my mouth for fear I'd throw up.

"Jake, you have to eat," my mum pleaded. "You're making yourself sick. I am worried out of my mind when I look at you."

"I'm fine," I repeated. "Don't worry."

"Your father and I have been talking," she said and I automatically thought Uh-oh. "Maybe you should speak to someone."

"No thanks," I said, straight away. I wasn't going to speak to some doctor so he can determine whether I should end up in a nut house or not.

"It'll be for your own good," she said, almost begged.

"No," I repeated firmly.

"Well, what do you want us to do for you?" my mum almost shouted. "You block everyone out and you are sick. You're losing weight! I know you don't care much for your image, so what is this? Are you on drugs?"

"What?" I asked. "You think I'm on drugs?"

She just looked at me. I thanked God my dad was at work.

"No!" I shouted. "I'm not on drugs. But thanks for the trust."

"I'm sorry Jake," she said softly, and I knew she meant it. "You've just got me worried."

"Alright, I'll eat," I said, picking up a slice of bread from the pantry and putting it in my mouth. I slowly ate it with mum watching expectantly. I swallowed feeling more and more sick. But I shoved the wave of sickness aside and smiled at her.

"You could eat a bit more," she said, hollowly.

"Later," I said, picking up the remote and turning on the television just as the newsman was saying the last report.

"…and lastly, a social gathering, The Sharing, is having a picnic day where anybody who attends will made members free of all costs. You wish to get out of the membership; it is all too possible…"

_Yeah right, _I thought bitterly.

"…very generous indeed," the newsman continued. "I might just join them myself."

I turned the channel hastily.

"Maybe you should join, Jake," mum said. "It'll be good for you and Tom would've wanted it."

_No he wouldn't, _I thought. _The Yeerk in his head wanted me. But not Tom. Never Tom._

"I don't think so," I said. "That was Tom's thing, not mine." It was a petty excuse, but it worked.

"You're right," mum sighed. "It was his thing; we have no right to stamp over his memory."

"I'm going to my room, if you need me," I said, walking towards the staircase.

"Jake, don't punish yourself for what happened to Tom," mum said, heavily. "He wouldn't want you to punish yourself, over something you can't control."

_If only you knew, _I thought.


	20. Rachel V

**Rachel**

I was angry. Furious! With Jake, Crayak, Tobias, Cassie, Marco, Ax and me. Especially me. Now that I thought about it, what had come over me? I mean, I knew I was a bit over the top sometimes. I was a natural warrior! But why did I say all those things to Jake? He didn't deserve it. After all the things he's done for me and the others.

Anyway, so I was angry, and when I'm angry I go to the mall. Of course I was a bit weary of going back to the place I saw my cousin get eaten by an alien. I wondered if that giant hole in the middle of the mall would still be there. My question was answered as I stepped into the building. The floor was whole and people were crawling all over the place.

I walked past several shops before I reached the one I wanted. Seer's was holding a sale and I had to be in on it. I bought a jumper for twenty percent off. What a bargain! When I got to the checkout counter the lady studied me for about a minute before handing me a notice.

"At Seers we're a big supporter of social gatherings," she said cheerily. It made me angry. No one should be allowed to be that happy. "The Sharing is holding a picnic and everyone attending is going to be made a member free of charge. You should go."

I stared at her stupidly. A controller. Her and her kind were doing this to collect more host bodies. Maybe hundreds of innocent people would be made into controllers. We had to stop this. But there was no we anymore.

"Thanks," I said, taking the notice and trying to match her cheerfulness. "I'll think about it."

I paid the amount for the jumper and walked out of there before anyone had a chance to stop me. I walked around the mall for a while and saw to my complete horror that nearly everyone at the mall was holding the same notice. This was freaking me out. Heaps of people were going to be made into controllers and the Animorphs were gone. I had to do something.


	21. Tobias II

**Tobias**

This was bad. This was really bad. A trap was being set and what was worse was I didn't know what kind of trap. I was flying over a quickly darkening sky so my eyesight was becoming more and more useless to me. I quickly flew to my forest where I was sure I would find Ax. He would of course help me figure out something.

((Ax!)) I called when I was soaring above the forest. ((Ax, can you hear me?))

((Certainly, Tobias.)) was his answer.

I followed his voice to the ground where he stood waiting.

((Ax, we have a serious problem,)) I said breathlessly when I landed on the branch of a tree above Ax.

((If you are referring to the collapse of our tiny resistance…))

((No, not that…))

((Oh, so you are referring to the Sharing, then.))

((The Sharing?)) I asked quickly. ((What about the Sharing?))

((According to this highly decorated notice, he indicated to a piece of paper he was holding in one of his many fingered hands. ((The Sharing is holding a picnic day it seems tomorrow night. Kind of silly holding a day at night.))

((That's the trap Visser Three set,)) I whispered to myself, but I let Ax hear it too.

((Trap?)) Ax asked.

((I heard Visser Three and some controller talking about it,)) I explained quickly. ((The thing is, the others don't know about it.))

((We should inform Prince Jake immediately,)) Ax said.

((I don't think Jake is the one to speak to,)) I said. ((He's having a hard time at the moment. Maybe we should speak to Marco instead.))


	22. Marco V

**Marco**

Well it was official: I hated my dad's new girlfriend. They had left over an hour ago but I was still disturbed by the images. My dad usually had nice taste; I mean he had my mum and people say I looked like my mum so he must have good taste. But this one was shocking. This woman had to be at least ten years older than he was. She wore a low cut dress that showed more than I needed to know and she smelled strongly of cigarettes. She had horrible looking teeth and her blonde hair was streaked with white.

I was planning to drop on the couch in front of the television and forget that horrible image when I heard knocking on the front door. I sighed and made my agonizing way to the door. I opened it and found the last person I thought would be on my doorstep. Jake.

"Hey man," he said, looking down at me. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I said, letting him in. "My dad went to the movies with the most horrible looking broad in existence."

He actually laughed at that. I walked into the lounge and he followed me.

"So what brings you to my lovely abode?"

"Had to get out of there," he said darkly. "Do you realise my parents' think I'm taking drugs and want me to see some psychiatrist?"

I let out a low whistle. "That's got to be tough."

"You're telling me," he muttered.

"You want to play some video games?" I asked. "I've got that new Play station game."

He just shrugged and sat down on the couch.

"I'll take that as a no," I said gloomily. I sat down next to him and put on the television. Johnny Bravo was on.

"Did you hear about the Sharing?"

"What about the Sharing?" I asked tentatively. I didn't want to say anything to offend Jake. He was already messed up right now.

"They're holding a picnic day and anyone who attends gets a free membership."

"Free Yeerk! Come and get your free Yeerk!"

Jake didn't laugh. It probably wasn't a very good joke.

We just sat there, watching Johnny doing the most horrible things, then Jake said what I knew had been bugging him.

"How could Rachel do something like that?" he raged. "I mean she would willingly kill me just to gain power. What kind of a person does that?"

"Rachel," I muttered darkly. "But you don't blame yourself, do you?"

I looked at him. He just stared straight ahead. He didn't answer me at all.

"You've got to be kidding me Jake!" I exclaimed. "You still blame yourself for what happened to Tom, don't you?"

"If I had just…"

"No, Jake," I said. "Did Cassie have that soppy talk with you yet?"

"What?"

"You know that gooey talk you guys have when the rest of us aren't around," I explained calmly. "You know after a battle she talks to you about how it's not your fault, yadda yadda yadda."

"Look, Marco," Jake sighed and put his hand through his hair. I swear the guy was growing up way too fast. "The point is I didn't save Tom and Rachel has gone crazy because I hadn't bothered to think about her while we were making plans. I'm sure I should have at least made one of her plans work."

"If you had done that, we wouldn't be speaking at this very moment," I said exasperated.

The thing with Jake is he's too serious for his own good. I mean he's only a kid, but he acts as if he's forty. Not a way to live out your life. I mean everything that goes wrong in his or our lives he thinks it's his fault. He thinks everything is his responsibility. Maybe we did this to him. Maybe we pushed the leadership thing too hard on him and now he feels obliged to step up and take it.

"I'm sorry about what happened last night, Jake, but it's not your fault," I glanced at him, but he suddenly put an expressionless mask on and said quickly, "What's this new game you've got?"

"No, seriously, Jake," I pressed. "This is not your fault."

He just stared at the TV.

"How are you doing, anyway?" I asked.

"Fine."

I got up and opened a cabinet where I kept most of my video games. I took out the one I was looking for.

"Come on," I said, putting the game in the play station. "I was so cut up when my mum died."

"Why are you pushing this?" Jake asked, angrily. "Did Cassie put you up to this?"  
"What?"

"Stop trying to do the Cassie thing, will you?"

"Look," I said just as angrily. "That psychotic cousin of yours is somewhere wrecking havoc no doubt, the Animorphs are no more and you watched your brother get killed, I'm just looking out for you."

"Whatever."

The game started and we began playing. I knew Jake wasn't into it and I wasn't either. Suddenly I heard a loud thump from upstairs. Jake and I glanced at each other.

"I'll go and see what it is," I said standing up.

"Do you want me to come?"

"No, it's alright, I can take care of myself, O Fearless Leader," I mocked.

"Don't call me that."

I walked up the stairs slowly. I don't know what I expected, but when you're an Animorph you start to expect the unexpected and you become slightly paranoid, which is a bad thing when you're already slightly paranoid.

I am almost certain that the noise came from my bedroom, so with shaking hands I opened my bedroom door and found myself staring at a red-tailed hawk and an Andalite.


	23. Ax

**Ax**

"Great," Marco said loudly, but quickly lowered his voice and looked behind him. Finding nobody there he stepped into his bedroom and closed the door. "Just great."

((Marco, we have important news,))Tobias said, quickly, ignoring what I was sure the sarcasm in Marco's voice.

"No," Marco said, hurriedly but forcefully. "You know who's downstairs? Jake. It has been a day since he saw his brother murdered. We don't need more of this crap."

((Prince Jake is downstairs?)) I asked. This was a perfect moment to warn Prince Jake of what was happening. ((Prince Jake, we have news!))

"No!" Marco hissed. "Why did you do that for?"

But I was spared answering by Prince Jake opening the door. I have never seen Prince Jake so tired. I hadn't realised he was so skinny. He had what humans call bags under his eyes and his hair was all ruffled.

"You have got to be joking," he snapped.

((Jake you have got to hear this,)) Tobias said.

"I tried to get them out of here," Marco said, hurriedly.

((It's about the Yeerks,)) Tobias pressed.

"Why don't you talk to your leader?" Prince Jake said harshly. "Where's Rachel?"

I only answer to you Prince Jake, I said promptly.

"Don't call me Prince," Prince Jake snapped.

Normally I would have answered with a, ((Yes, Prince Jake,)) but I didn't think he'd appreciate it this time.

((Won't you just hear us out?)) Tobias asked.

"No."

((Why not.))

"Because," Prince Jake said, face reddening, "I am through with risking my life and my family's so every damn human being on this hopeless planet can get a life. I'm through with it."

((Prince Jake, you must hear us out,)) I pleaded. ((There is a trap…))

"I don't care anymore," Prince Jake sighed. "I'm not your leader anymore. You've got a different leader. Follow her."

He turned around and he walked out of the room.

"Great," Marco muttered.

((Marco, this is serious,)) Tobias pressed.

"Alright, what is it?"

((The Sharing…))

"Oh, is this about the Sharing?" Marco interrupted. "We already know. They are holding a picnic day."

((Yeah, but it's a trap.))

"When is it not a trap?" Marco sighed.

((Nobody knows but us,)) Tobias said quickly.

"Well Jake isn't going to go bashing around anytime soon, I can't see Cassie doing that on her own," Marco thought. "So that only leaves Rachel."

((I'll morph to owl and fly to her home,)) I suggested.

((No, I'll do it,)) Tobias said.

"Aw, isn't that sweet?" Marco said. "Bird-boy has a love interest with a psychotic killer. Watch it or she'll turn you into fried chicken."

((Shut-up Marco,)) Tobias said before taking off.

I started to morph into owl just as Marco was talking.

"Oh, Ax don't you look attractive when you morph."


	24. Jake VIII

**Jake **

It was Wednesday. Wednesday in the afternoon. I had slept most of the morning away. I was suffering from a serious dose of guilt. I should have heard Tobias out last night. It sounded as though what he had to say was important and I couldn't afford to make any more mistakes. The Sharing picnic was on today so I convinced myself that Tobias was talking about that. I was also suffering a serious dose of guilt from what happened with Marco. He was only looking out for me and I had to bite his head off. I wanted someone to talk to, someone like Cassie, but she hadn't said anything to me about it. I wondered if she even cared.

But I was worried now, because Rachel is probably the only Animorph to actually go to that Sharing picnic. And then something I had overlooked hit me. Tobias had mentioned a trap. The Sharing picnic was a trap! Of course. But then I shouldn't worry. Rachel could take care of herself and Tobias would tell her.

I was sitting at the kitchen table finally eating something, only because my mum was sitting opposite me, watching me like a hawk. She had deliberately made me a sandwich while I was asleep and was now forcing me to eat it. It took me about half an hour to gulp it down. When I had finished, my mum smiled up at me and took my plate. But I felt sick.

I spent most of the day lounging around in front of the television. By the time night fell and dad came home from work, I had made a serious dent in the couch. Mum had tried to coax me out of the lounge several times, but finally gave up when I refused.

"And finally the Sharing picnic has gone underway…" I had turned to a news channel. They showed footage of people dancing around a campfire. It looked nothing like a picnic. Why would they call it a picnic? But then I saw something that stopped my breath short. A familiar tall, blonde haired girl was circling the campfire with a look of distaste. Rachel.

"…but don't worry, there's still time to become a member…"

"Mum, I'm going out!" I shouted, trying to keep calm.

"Now?"

"Yeah," I said. "I forgot something at Marco's house!"

"Alright, be quick."

I walked out of the house and into my garage. I stripped down to my bike shorts and concentrated on my owl morph. The changes began.

When I was fully owl, I took off.

((Jake, I hope that's you and not some other owl,)) a voice I knew said in my head. Marco.

I twisted my head and found four owls flying directly underneath me.

((What are you guys doing?)) I asked.

((We saw a certain someone on the news,)) Tobias informed me.

((You saw her too, did you?)) I sighed. ((She just never gives up, does she?))

((What do you expect?)) Marco said. ((We were going to do this without you, but since you decided your cousin's life was worth something…))

((That's not fair, Marco,)) Cassie said. ((I'm sure she's only doing this to help out.))

((Help out?)) Marco howled. ((She could get killed! I could get killed.))

((Is that it there?)) I asked, breaking yet another argument.

((I believe it is, Prince Jake,)) Ax said, soaring down to a patch of trees away from the clearing.

I followed his lead and saw the others do the same. We all started to demorph, except Tobias.

((Tobias, do you mind…?))

((Not at all, Big Jake,)) he said, sounding happy and took off again.

((I thought you weren't our leader,)) Marco teased me in private thought speech.

((Someone has to do it now that Rachel is indisposed,)) I said.

When we had all demorphed I turned to the others.

"Alright, this is what we're going to do, Marco and Cassie morph into battle morphs," they nodded their heads and began to change. "You'll stay here and become back up if I need it. Ax morph to human. You and I are going in. We're going to find Rachel and bring her back here. If she has done something really stupid like," suddenly there was a roar, much like a bear roar. "Like that." I sighed. "Alright, Ax, forget morphing come Andalite. Marco, Cassie," I looked over at the wolf and gorilla. "Stay here, I'll morph tiger and get my horrible baby cousin out of this."

I started to morph my favourite battle morph. Tiger. I was done in no time.

((Alright, Ax, are you ready?))

((Yes, Prince Jake,)) he replied.

((I'll see you guys later,)) I said to Cassie and Marco.

((Yeah, good luck man,)) Marco said.

I raced out into the clearing, Ax following me closely. Most people were running away, screaming. Those people were innocent humans. Not controllers. Others were racing towards a large tent. Controllers. No grizzly bear in sight.

((I believe Rachel is being held in there,)) Ax pointed out the obvious.

((Yeah,)) I said.

Now that we were out in the open, people had noticed and that caused the whole campfire to go into a frenzy. Some controllers looked at us with contempt, but they just hastened their step into the tent.

((Guys,)) it was Tobias. ((Rachel is being held in a large cage in the tent. Visser Three is in there and he's not too happy about only Rachel being captured.))

((Thanks Tobias,)) I said, but then another thought struck me. ((Tobias, how do you know that Rachel is in a cage?))

((Oh… you see the thing is… all I could see from above was…well I had…))

((TOBIAS!))

((Alright, I morphed fly,)) he said sheepishly.

((Do you realise how dangerous that is!)) I shouted. ((You didn't even tell us! What is wrong with you? Please tell me you're out of there!))

((Yeah, I'm out of here, I'm back to owl,)) he sounded scared. Was I that frightening?

((Good, stay like that, alright?))

((Yeah, sure Jake.))

Ax and I must have looked really strange just standing there, but by now everyone had cleared out.

((Alright, Ax,)) I said, feeling as if I'm putting myself in a suicide mission, ((this is going to be extremely reckless, but chances are the opening of the tent is going to be blocked or there's going to be a trap, so I need you to make another opening at the back of the tent.))

((Certainly Prince Jake,)) Ax replied, sounding calm, which was far from what I felt.

We raced towards the back of the tent where we could see the shadows of figures moving along inside.

((Are you ready, Prince Jake?))

I wasn't ready.

((I'm ready.))

In one swift movement, Ax brought down his tail on the thin sheets that made up the tent. One sizeable hole appeared and I ran through it, Ax followed. Controllers were everywhere. You wouldn't have guessed from the outside, but from the inside it was large. Everyone just stopped and stared at us. I looked through them all and then I saw the one being that chilled my bone. Visser Three. He was a larger more intimidating version of Ax. He stared at us with utter hatred. At the entrance was a large cage, opened so whoever decided to drop by for a visit would be trapped in there. I had made a wise choice in asking Ax to create an entrance for us.

At the far end of the tent was a large grizzly bear trapped in a cage. Rachel was trapped. For a moment I was pleased. Serves her right for trying to over throw me as leader.

((Jake, get out of here. It's a trap!)) she screamed in private thought speech.

((Jeez, you think?)) I said rather sarcastically. To Ax I said, ((Cover me, I'm going to try and get Rachel out of here.))

((Yes, Prince Jake.))

Then all of a sudden everything went into action. Every controller got out of their state of shock and came after us, all the while Visser Three shouting obscene instructions.

((I want the Andalite for myself,)) he finally shouted, coming for Ax.

I ran towards the cage where Rachel was held. Controllers racing after me. They started firing me with Dracon Beams.

When I reached the cage, still trying to dodge the controllers and their firing, I took one metal bar between my teeth and pulled, trying to make it larger. I think I broke one tooth at that stage.

((Ahhhhhhhh!)) A dracon beam had hit me on the side.

((Jake!)) Rachel yelled although I was right near her.

((Just work on that bar, I've weakened it,)) I said, though the pain was strong.

She clasped the bar between her two paws and started to twist it. I could see my tooth marks in it. I grabbed the bar next to it and pulled again. I could taste blood in mouth. Someone had shot my tail off by that point and more dracon beams were being shot at me and this time I couldn't dodge them.

((I think I've weakened this one,)) I said, a little woozy.

As she finished on the other one she started on this one. I looked around at Ax. He was fighting Visser Three. So far all they had achieved was no more than a scratch each. They were dual fighting with their tails as weapons. I stood there a little too long. Someone shot at my back leg.

((Alright!)) Rachel cried gleefully in my head. ((I'm free! Hey!))

Someone had shot her on the back as she attempted to go help Ax.

((No!)) I shouted as she lumbered up to the controller. ((Rachel! Ax! Get out of here now!))

((But…))

((No! Now!) I shouted. I saw Ax break away from the Visser and race back out of the hole he had made. At least Ax was safe.

((Rachel, get out of here!))

((I'm not leaving you!)) she shouted.

((I'm not staying!)) I shouted back.

I saw her race towards the hole, Controllers shooting at her. I saw someone aim their dracon beam at her heart. I don't know what I was thinking, but I couldn't let Rachel die, so I leaped in front of her. It hit me in the head. Through the dizziness and confusion I saw Rachel lumber through the hole, oblivious to what I had just done. I was definitely woozy now and my leg was in pain. But I fought my way out. Knocking people to the ground in an attempt to save my own life. I finally made it out into the clearing and to my surprise nobody followed, although I could hear Visser Three shouting curses at the Controllers as I limped my way towards the trees. But all that was somehow far away from me. All the sounds they were so far away. I felt dizzy as blood continued to pour down my face where the dracon beam had hit. I finally made it to a place where a weird bunch of people were staring at me. Three humans, a hawk and a strange looking creature with a spiked tail. Strange. And now the dizziness became too much and I collapsed.

((Jake, demorph!))

People were nagging me. Why were they nagging me? Their nagging had woke me up.

((Prince Jake, I must urge you to morph immediately. You have consumed most of your morph time.))

Then I heard snippets of conversation.

"What have I done?" I heard a female voice said. "This is my fault."

"You're damn right this is your fault," an angry male voice said, snidely.

Why were they arguing? They shouldn't argue. I had to stop the arguing. But how?

"Look, he's changing!"

((That's it Jake,)) someone encouraged in my head.

The pain I had felt so strongly for what seemed like forever was now slipping away and my wooziness and dizziness with it. My sense and concentration came back and I became aware of what happened. My tiger body had become too damaged and now I was morphing back to human. When I was finished demorphing I sat up from the hard, prickly floor I lay on. All my friends looked relieved. Except Tobias, who was perched in a tree, he never showed any emotion in his hawk body.

I stood up, brushing leaves off me.

"I don't suppose we're near the picnic?" I asked.

"No," Marco said. "You were unconscious so I had to morph to gorilla and carry you to the woods in case they decided to come after us."

The sky was dark; time must have gone by pretty fast.

"Well, we better get out of here," I suggested.

"You can all come to the barn, it's not far from here," Cassie suggested. I knew it was her way of trying to get us all together again. Nobody objected, so I decided to go along and see what would happen.

When we reached the barn, everyone assumed their usual positions. Ax had by this time morphed into human. I started pacing as usual, deep in thought. I could feel everyone's eyes on me.

"Jake?" It was Rachel. I knew what this was. It was another attempt to make it all better when she stuffed up royally.

"Jake?" she repeated.

"What?" I asked. I stopped pacing and stood there, looking at her, no expression on my face. No one would have known what I was thinking, except maybe Marco and Cassie, the two people who knew me the best.

"I…I'm…"

"No Rachel," I interrupted. "If you're looking for forgiveness, look somewhere else, because I'm not going to give it to you."

"It was a mistake," she defended. "It was stupid."

"Stupid?" I echoed, showing at last what I was thinking and feeling. I used to feel young, energetic, but now I just felt like I was forty. I was growing up way too fast with all this worry and stress. Trying to look out for everyone. Now I know how my parents feel. "This was beyond stupid. You nearly got me killed. You nearly got Ax killed. Tobias was so worried about you that he morphed fly and went into that tent. He could have been killed! One swipe of the Visser's tail, that's all it would take!"


	25. Rachel VI

**Rachel**

Jake was ranting. I knew I did a mistake, but he never went on like this before.

"What were you trying to do? Get yourself killed?" he went on. "Did you consider the fact that it was an obvious suicide mission? Going by yourself! No backup, no cover! If it was a spy mission, that would be fine. I'd be okay with that…"

"Jake, I'm really sorry," I pleaded with him.

"What were you trying to accomplish?" he suddenly asked me.

"I don't know," I admitted. "Look, I'm not the leader type like you alright? I don't know what to do in a crisis. I just thought I could do your job for once. But obviously I can't."

"Don't ever do something like that again," Jake snapped and suddenly I realised why he was always angry at one of us when we do something so stupid or reckless. It was because he was worried about us and he'd continue to worry about us until this war was over. "Don't any of you do anything so stupid again or I'll kill you personally. Life is a very special thing. Don't throw it away. I couldn't handle if one of you died…"

He said it. I knew at once that he hadn't meant to say it. He went all red and looked away.

((Don't worry, Jake,)) Tobias said softly. ((We're not going anywhere.))

"Yeah, man," Marco chimed in. "Nothing's going to happen to us."

((Prince Jake, I refuse to die when you are still in need of my service,)) Ax said proudly.

"You know you'll always have us," Cassie said. I looked at her. Tears were streaming down her face.

Everyone looked at me expecting me to say something. But I got up and walked towards him. I put my arms around him and squeezed him tight. He was obviously taken by surprise. I mean I'm not the kind of person to just hug someone or show any kind of emotion, but he did and I thought I'd repay the favour. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in his ear as I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"I forgive you," he whispered back. "Just promise me that you won't do anything so stupid again."

"I promise."

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be disgusted in myself, but today I was. It was the day after that disaster with nearly getting Jake killed and before Tom's funeral (which made it Thursday). I was sitting on my mum's bed watching the morning news. The news lady was reporting on the Sharing. They showed many helicopter footage of a "out of control" grizzly as they put it and many more images of a half dead tiger dragging it's body into the patch of trees and out of sight. I just stared at myself going crazy. Was I really that nuts? Then I watched as the replayed images of Jake, limping. I knew he had come off bad, but they really made it look horrible. He had blood all over his body and his forehead had nearly been blown away by the force of that dracon beam. I wonder where he got that from. It certainly wasn't there when I was with him. What I was surprised about, was nobody reported about a strange creature with four eyes, a spiked tail and blue.

"Poor tiger," my mum said as she came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around herself. "I bet that awful grizzly did that to him."

_Yeah, I did._

"You know they haven't found that poor tiger yet," my mum continued. "They think if they don't find him soon he could die. And they haven't found that grizzly yet, either. I don't fancy the idea of that monster wandering the streets while the children are out playing."

I sighed. The whole world hates me. Although they don't know it.

"Oh, Rachel, by the way, the funeral's on tomorrow," mum said. "You need to find something nice to wear."

"Okay, I'll do that later," I said, distractedly as my dad entered the room.

"Hey, sport," he said punching me on the arm. "What are you watching?"

"Nothing," I replied.

"Excuse me, who told you could come into my bedroom?" my mum asked, now fully dressed.

"I'm talking to my daughter if you don't mind," my dad snapped back.

"You have two other daughters," my mum said. "Speak to them out of my room."

"Snappy, isn't she?" dad said to me as he walked out.

"Jake's started to eat again," mum said to me.

"He has?" I said full attention on her. I had almost forgot he wasn't eating.

"Yes," mum said. "His mum's relieved. He started speaking again too. She said they'd take him to a psychologist, I think that helped him."

I laughed. I was relieved. Jake was getting better! I couldn't have asked for anything more.

"I'm going up to change," I said. I was still in my pyjamas.

When I had a quick shower and walked to my bedroom where I noticed a red tailed hawk waiting patiently on my bed.

"Tobias!" I said, closing the bedroom door behind me.

((Hey, thought I'd drop by,)) Tobias said. ((Want to fly?))

"Sure, just wait one minute," I said. I opened my bedroom door again and shouted out to my mum. "Mum, I'm going out."

"Alright."

I closed the door and began to strip down to my spandex. I began to morph to eagle.

When I was finished, I flew out the open window with Tobias.

((So how's it like to be normal again?)) Tobias asked sneakily.

I laughed. ((Better. I don't know what I was thinking when I said those things to Jake.))

((Well, at least everything's all right now,)) Tobias sighed.

((Not really,)) I admitted. ((Tom's funeral is tomorrow. Are you going?))

((I thought about it and I think I am,)) he said. ((I mean after everything Jake has done for us and for Tom, it seems right. Ax said he wanted to go too, so I suppose I'm going to have to baby-sit.))

((Well, Marco's going and I think Cassie's going. You know that whole thing she has with Jake.))

((Is it just me or do they seem to be growing apart?)) Tobias asked.

((I know,)) I said, angrily. ((I mean I get him, but she hasn't said anything to him about Tom. I should speak with her.))

((And say what?)) Tobias asked. ((Hey Cassie, why haven't you cracked onto Jake yet?))

((I thought Marco was supposed to be the idiot,)) I joked.

((Picking up some hints.))

((You know I hope we don't become like them.))

((We won't,)) Tobias promised.

((How do you know that?)) I persisted. ((How do you know we're not going to grow apart and stop speaking to each other? How do you know?))

((Because I love you, that's how I know.))

((I love you too, Tobias.))


	26. Marco VI

**Marco**

My dad and I had lunch with Violet today. Violet was dad's new girlfriend. Man, was she wrong. She had the worst stories to tell. She was like Patty or Selma from the Simpson's only worse. I didn't know if I wanted to swallow my food or chuck it back up. I didn't know what my dad saw in her, but I knew what I saw in her and what I saw was indescribably disgusting.

"So, sweetum, tell me, how's school?" Who says sweetum? Nobody that's who.

"Yeah, its alright, can't complain," I said. My dad promised me not to make any jokes or be rude in any way.

"Oh, isn't he so cute!" Violet shrieked. She swung one of her hairy arms around me and shook my shoulders. I shuddered.

I shot my dad a death stare, but he seemed too interested in his lunch.

"So, Violet, do you get around much?" I asked. That was it, I couldn't take anymore.

"Excuse me, sweetum?" That word!

"Do you get around much?" I repeated in a voice that sounded patronising.

"Marco! That is an inappropriate question," dad said loudly.

"That's alright, honey," she said and removed her enormous arm. "No, sweetum, I don't get around."

"Isn't that a shame," I said in mock pity. "Don't the fellas think you're a catch?"

"Excuse me?"

"Marco! Get to your room this instant!" dad shouted getting up and pointing towards the stairs.

I shrugged. Anything to get away from Violet. As I reached the stairs I heard my dad explaining my behaviour.

"He's really such a well mannered boy," he said. "I don't know what's got into him. He's friend's brother just died, though…"

Pathetic. Blaming my behaviour on Tom. Couldn't he see I hated that cow? Who calls people sweetum? Is that even a word?

When I reached my bedroom I went straight to my desk and put on my computer. Solitaire's not my thing so I logged onto the internet. I spent ten minutes surfing the web before my dad decided to drop by.

"Hey, dad, long time no see," I said mockingly.

"That was not funny, Marco," he said, red in the face. "She was so upset. She tried to get along with you."

"Yeah, well I don't like her," I said stubbornly.

"You don't like any of the women I go out with."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But I especially hate this one."

"Well, you see that's too bad," he said. "Because we're going out on another date."

"Don't know why you go for skanky woman, anyway," I said, turning back to the computer.

"Your mother wasn't skanky," dad said quietly.

I sighed. I would have killed to tell my dad that my mum was still alive, but that couldn't happen.

"She's really nice once you get to know her," dad continued. "Just try, alright?"

"Alright," I said. "I'll try, but I'm not promising anything."

"Good," he sighed. "She left anyway. Was really upset."

He left not long after that and I suddenly wasn't much interest in the net anymore. I logged off. All of a sudden, I had this urge to go for a swim.


	27. Cassie IV

**Cassie**

School. I sighed. While my other friends were at home I was stuck here, because my parents didn't really think I deserved to stay home when I hardly knew Tom. I sat through history, English and maths without taking anything in. Halfway through maths I noticed two familiar birds of prey soaring the skies. A red tailed hawk and a bald eagle. Tobias and Rachel.

((Hey, Cass,)) I heard Rachel say in my head. ((Get out of there. Looks boring.))

I smiled but gently tilted my head to indicate that I thought it was a bad idea.

((Come one Cassie,)) Tobias persuaded. ((You don't know what you're missing.))

((Yeah, it's a beautiful up here,)) Rachel teased.

Giving up to the temptation, I raised my hand and waited for the teacher to notice me.

"Yes, Cassie?" the teacher said politely.

"Sir, I feel sick," I lied. It surprised me how easy lying had become.

"Do you want to have a lie down in the sick bay?"

"Yes, sir," I said.

"Well off you go."

I got up and playing the part, clutched my stomach and put on an expression of pain. When I was well out of eye sight of the classroom I broke into a run and ran out of the school. I looked up. Tobias and Rachel were still soaring majestically over my head.

((It's about time,)) Rachel said grumpily.

I saw a perfect place to morph. A clump of bushes. I stripped down to my spandex and put my clothes in my bag. I started morphing osprey. When I had finished I flew up to them.

((Where to?)) I asked.

((Let's go to the beach,)) Rachel suggested.

((Sounds like a plan,)) Tobias said. ((Let's catch some waves.))

We circled around and headed for the beach.

((Hey, who do you think that is?)) Tobias laughed.

I looked in the direction Tobias was looking at. I laughed. A large group of girls had waded into the water where a dolphin was floating. They patted and stroked him. Couple of them were fussing over how cute he was.

((Please tell me that's not you, Marco,)) Rachel said.

The dolphin tipped its head in surprise.

((Rachel?)) Marco's voice sounded surprised.

I laughed. ((How did we know?))  
((Hey, who else is up there?))

((Just us and Tobias,)) I said.

((Well come down, there's plenty of girls for us all,)) he said, cheerfully.

((I don't know about the girls, but I'll come down,)) Rachel growled.

((There's an empty shore a few kilometres down,)) Marco informed us. ((I'll meet you there.))

We flew down and below us Marco swam away from the girls, who sighed dramatically, and followed us down the shore.

Marco was right when he said there was an empty shore. There was nobody in sight. It was a kind of beach where there were corners on either side, in other words it was a really small shore. Tobias, Rachel and I landed on the shore and demorphed. When we had fully demorphed, Rachel and I raced to the beach where Marco was waiting. Tobias flew overhead. Rachel and I morphed to dolphin and when we had finished Tobias landed on Rachel's rubbery skin and started his own morph to dolphin.

((So, back to the girls!)) Marco cried triumphantly once Tobias had finished demorphing.

((Marco, you dumb,)) Rachel snapped. ((We should have asked Ax and Jake to come along.))

((No need to ask Jake,)) Tobias said.

((What do you mean?)) I asked.

((He's here is person,)) Tobias pointed his nose to the right side of the shore where two people were making their way across.

((Who's that with him?)) Rachel asked, she seemed cross.

((Isn't that your friend, Rachel?)) Marco asked. ((Alicia or something?))

((Allison,)) she snapped.

((Let's get out of here,)) I said, wanting to protect Jake's privacy.

((No I want to hear this,)) Marco said, sneakily. He moved closer but not too close so Jake could see us.

Tobias and Rachel followed. I had no choice but to follow myself.


	28. Jake VIIII

**Jake**

"Look, Allison, you're a very nice girl and all…"

"But?"

"But I'm really not looking for a girlfriend right now," I said awkwardly.

"It's Cassie, isn't it?" Allison snapped.

"What?"

"Your cousin told me all about her."

"Rachel?" I asked, hurriedly. "What did Rachel tell you?"

"She said you and Cassie are dating," Allison looked at me carefully.

"I'll kill her," I muttered to myself. Rachel had a serious habit of getting into my business. She had this obsession with getting me and Cassie together.

"So, it's not true?" Allison asked hopefully.

"What? About me and Cassie?"

"Well, yeah," Allison said in a dumb air head way. "You know you've gotten really cute lately, even cuter than your friend. Marcus?"

"Marco." I corrected. I didn't even want to think about where this conversation was going.

"So why don't you just dump her and come with me," she whispered in my ear, even though nobody else was on the beach. "I mean it's not like you were close."

_We were close, _I thought. _Now it's like she doesn't care._

"Who are you going to disappoint?" Allison continued. "Rachel? Like she knows any better."

"Look," I said, I had just about enough of her bagging my friends. "Don't you think…?"

"Well, who do we have here?"

A loud crude voice echoed from behind me and Allison.

I turned around and found myself staring at a short, stocky guy with a big grin plastered on his face. John. He went to our school, but got expelled for putting some kid in hospital. He had it in for me when he still went there. I think it was because I was the only one who stood up to him and actually got away unscathed.

"Is that you, Jake?" he mocked. "Big Jake, long time."

"Great," I muttered to myself. I wasn't scared or intimidated by John. In fact, I could take him on and win. Last time I did that he had a small army backing him up, this time he was by himself. Only one person saw me take him on. Marco. He never spoke about it again.

I never resorted to violence unless it was absolutely necessary. All I really did was push him, it wasn't my fault if he's a crappy fighter. No one found out about that fight. I didn't want people knowing I could fight and John didn't want people to know he could be beaten.

"Jake, Jake, Jake," he said, slowly shaking his head. "Jake, Jake, Jake."

"Would you get on with it," I said, almost bored. "I don't have time for this."

"Don't have time for what?" he asked, drawing nearer. "For me kicking your butt?"

I laughed. "Are you serious?"

"I want a rematch."

"I'm sorry?"

"I want a rematch," he repeated, looking at Allison amusedly. "We had an unfair fight."

"We sure did," I agreed. "I was outnumbered five to one. But that didn't stop me from beating you."

That's when he turned angry. He stepped right in my face and started calling me obscene names. I just stood there calmly. Not flinching, just waiting until he finished.

When he did, I said calmly, "Now that's over, Allison, come on."

Allison was only too happy to leave, but John spoke up again.

"No, Big Jake, not until I get my fight."

"I'm not fighting you," I said, calmly. Showing no emotion.

"Why? Are you scared you might lose?"

"No," I said, honestly. "I'm scared I might win."

That's when he pushed me. I didn't fall back, I didn't even move, but how dare that scum touch me? So what did I do? I pushed him back, but with more force and he stumbled back.

"Oh, you…" he shouted and came after me. Before he could reach me I stepped out of the way and watched as he fell over.

"Jake, can we please get out of here?" Allison pleaded.

"Yeah, sure," I said, just as John started to get up.

"You think you're so good don't you?" he said, snarling at me. "Well what do you think about this?"

Things couldn't have gone worse after that. He had a knife and he pulled that knife up so that it was touching my throat. It was pressing in on me. The strange thing was, I was completely calm. I was just worried for Allison, who had now starting to sob.

"Allison, get out of here," I said.

"You move and your boyfriend here will be missing a head," John snapped at Allison.

Allison stood stock still, just like me except she didn't have a knife pressed at her throat.

"Look here," John taunted. "Big Jake, finally cornered. I knew one day I'd get you. You humiliated me in front of my friends. Bet me in the one thing I was good at, beating up other kids. Except you don't even use your gift."

"Gift?" I laughed. "You call beating up other kids till they land in the hospital a gift? You're nuts."

"Watch it," he snarled.

"Jake, please," Allison pleaded through sobs. "Please don't make him angry."

"We could have been great together, in business," he continued. "But your morals are different. You hang out with the wrong people. You should have joined me. Now you're going to pay."

"Not today," I said fiercely and before he could react, I stepped about a millimetre back and knocked the knife out of his hand. It flew and landed two metres away. Allison screamed as I landed a clenched fist on John's cheekbone. John, looking stunned and angry flew back and landed on the sand with a thud. Quickly, I ran toward the knife and with all my strength broke the blade. It made cuts on my hand, but I ignored the blood and wiped it on my pants.

"Jake!" Allison shrieked.

I turned around just as John came swooping up from behind me. He managed to trip me and I went sprawling in the sand. John, looking pretty pleased with himself, tried to lay a fist in me, but I swerved out of the way his fist punched sand. I then managed to trip him and he landed face first in the sand. I took advantage of him coughing and choking on sand to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him to his feet. With him still spluttering, I gave him one warning.

"Get out of here, before you land in juvie," I snapped. "Don't start trouble with me again."

He was still coughing when he ran out of there. I distinctly heard him shout, "You tell anyone about this and your dead! I'll get you one of these days! You're dead!"

When he was out of sight I picked up the broken blade and walked to the nearest bin, where I threw the blade in there with disgust. I walked back to a snivelling Allison.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm alright," she sniffed. "Are you alright? You've cut your hands."

"Yeah, it's alright," I reassured her.

"Are you sure. I mean you could come over to my house and I could clean them for you…"

"No thankyou," I said hurriedly.

"But you're my hero…"

And that's when she leaned in. I knew what she was going to do before she had time. I swerved out of the way and cleared my throat, uncomfortably.

She sniffed and turned toward the ocean.

"Well I hope those dolphins had a better time at watching your fight than I did," she said, haughtily.

"What?" I asked, hurriedly, suddenly breathing had become a lot more harder.

"Yeah, four of them, I saw them swim closer to shore when that guy had his knife to your throat," she pointed out to the ocean.

I turned toward them and my heart nearly stopped. I was looking at four dolphins, all of them staring back at me, no comical grin on their faces.


	29. Rachel VII

**Rachel**

Jake was the first to break eye contact. I think he felt ashamed at what he just did even though it was in self defence. He walked away with Allison and left the four of us swimming into open water saying nothing. I was surprised, it's not everyday you see your gentle cousin kick somebody's butt into the ground. What I was angry about was that whole Allison thing. He should have said right there and then that Cassie was his girlfriend, but he didn't and I knew it was eating Cassie up inside.

I wanted to send her a private thought speech, but Marco interrupted me.

((How dare she say Jake is cuter than me!)) he raged. I knew he was only trying to break the silence and I was glad for it.

((No one wants to go out with a person with a rat face,)) I laughed.

((What did he mean when he said Jake humiliated him in front of his friends?)) Tobias asked, finally bringing the great big elephant down.

((Yes, that's what I want to know,)) I said, seriously. ((And about Jake beating him before.))

((Marco?)) Tobias asked.

Marco sighed.

((Alright, but you didn't hear it from me,)) he said. ((When that guy, John, went to our school he picked on dorks…))

((Like me…)) Tobias sighed.

((He picked on you?)) I shouted angrily.

((Excuse me,)) Marco said, annoyed. ((I was talking. There was this one time when Jake and I had come out of maths class and Jake accidentally ran into John. He said sorry and all, but John was convinced he did it on purpose, so he pushed Jake, thinking Jake was this worthless, can't stick up for himself dork.))

((But he's not,)) I said, fiercely.

((John didn't know that,)) Marco continued. ((So as you saw earlier, Jake doesn't like to be pushed, so he pushed him back.))

((And they got into a fight, Jake punches him and so the story ends,)) I said dismissively.

((Jake didn't punch him,)) Marco said, quickly. ((It was five against one. I was being held back, so I could do nothing.))

((So what happened?))

((Nothing,)) Marco said. ((He just pushed John. John fell back, his friends dissed him and he walked away, but that time he didn't have a knife.))

((Yeah and Jake still beat him,)) Tobias said.

((Well, we always knew Jake was a good fighter,)) I said. ((He just doesn't show it.))

((He had a knife, Cassie said for the first time since we left the shore. ((What kind of a person carries a knife?))

((Don't worry, Cass,)) I said. ((Jake's fine now. Except for his hands. How the hell did he break metal with his bare hands?))

((Beats me,)) Marco said. ((Must have been weak metal.))

((And who does that Allison think she is?)) I asked. ((How dare she make moves on Jake, when I told her Jake and Cassie were together?))

((If you haven't noticed Rachel,)) Cassie said, ((but me and Jake haven't exactly been tight lately.))

((Yeah, I've noticed,)) I said grumpily. ((And why is that?))

((That thing he said to me that day…))

((You're holding that against him?)) Marco asked, astonished. ((He thought his brother just died. He was upset, I thought you were the kind sensitive one.))

((It hurt, Marco,)) Cassie whispered.

((What he said to me hurt too,)) Marco snapped. ((But I'm still his friend. You think everything's grand because you have all your family with you, for some people its not quite like that.))

Marco doesn't usually talk like that unless he is personally involved. Marco knew Tom well, but he was speaking of his own experiences with his mother.

Cassie kept quiet and I decided to break the tension.

((Do you think it's time to demorph yet? I asked. ((Marco you have to demorph before the rest of us.))

((Alright let's head back,)) Tobias sighed, for a moment I could have sworn I heard Jake in him.


	30. Marco VII

**Marco**

We swam to shore and demorphed. The same shore we saw Jake have that fight. When I was back to human, I spotted something on the shore. I ran towards it and picked it up. It was the handle of the knife John had tried to use on Jake. It was smeared with dry blood. Jake's blood. He had left it on the shore, only worried about the blade.

"Is that Jake's blood?" Rachel asked from behind me. I didn't know she had crept up from behind me.

"Yeah, I think so," I answered. "He's a good fighter, in and out of morph."

"He's my cousin," Rachel answered. "It runs in the family."

"I don't think it's fair to call him stupid," I said, swiftly.

Rachel took a friendly punch at me, but I ducked and gave her one, myself.

"Don't," Cassie said, suddenly. "I've seen enough fighting for today."

I looked at her. She looked sick. Cassie was a hypocrite by nature. She didn't believe in violence but she would kill a person, and there she was judging Jake. All he did was defend himself.

"Hey, shouldn't you get back to chaining yourself against a tree or something?" I asked, harshly.

((Marco, that's not fair,)) Tobias said to me, from Rachel's shoulder.

"No, it's alright, Tobias," Cassie said, gently, and then she turned towards me and said not so gently, "You have something to say to me Marco?"

"Yeah," I snapped. "What is your problem with Jake? What did he do to you?"

"I don't have to answer that," Cassie whispered.

"No, I think you do," I said. "Because you see, Jake is pretty messed up at the moment, I mean really messed up and he usually turns to you. Where is that talk you normally have with him that puts him back into leader mode?"

"What do you want me to do?" she snapped very un-Cassie like. "Sit him down like a good little boy and explain to him what's what?"

"Yeah, the usual thing."

"That's not going to happen," she said.

"He is killing himself over this," I practically screamed. "And you won't do anything?"

"Cassie, that's not fair," Rachel said.

"No," Cassie said. "He hurt me. He has changed."

"Why do you think that is?" I snapped. "He watched his brother die! Does that count for nothing?"

"As much as I hate to say it," Rachel said, looking at Cassie with surprise. "But Marco's right. He's not thinking straight. He needs you Cassie."

"Why does he need me?" she screamed. "Why can't he need you, Rachel? Or you Marco? Why is it always me? I am not his mother!"

"We never said you were," Rachel shouted back. "He doesn't open up with me! I am his cousin, not his girlfriend."

"I am not his girlfriend!" she shouted. But then she stopped and turned red almost instantly.

"I'm going to find Jake," I said, turning around.

"I'll come with you," Rachel said, giving Cassie a stare before speaking to Tobias. "Do you want to come?"

No, thanks, he said, sounding disorientated. Maybe this is just for close friends… 

"You're a close friend," Rachel said. "Jake won't mind."

((I better not come though,)) Tobias said. ((I'd feel uncomfortable.))

"Alright," she said, as Tobias took flight. She turned around and followed me down the shore.

When we reached his house he was sitting on his front step, his back against the brick wall. He was looking at his right hand. It wasn't turned to the palm, where I was sure there was a huge cut where he had broken the blade. I know he didn't morph because he still had his normal clothing on. But he was looking at his knuckles. They were all bruised and bumped. He kept clenching and unclenching them and wincing in pain. He didn't notice Rachel and I walk up to him.

"Nice looking bruise you got there," I said, cheerfully. "What did you do, beat up a gorilla?"

He looked up. "I really don't want a lecture right now."

"We're not here to give you a lecture," Rachel said, sitting down next to him. I never noticed until then how much they seemed to look like each other.

"So why are you here?" he asked.

"We thought maybe you'd want some company," Rachel said.

I sat down opposite them.

"Yeah, well I don't."

"Jeez, could you be any more cheerful?" I joked.

"Don't Marco," he sighed.

"Look at your hands," Rachel said, starting to act like the concerned younger cousin. Something was wrong. She took his right hand and studied it. "Look at all these bruises and cuts."

"I'm fine," Jake said, pulling his hand out of her grip and slumping against the wall.

"Why don't you just morph?" I asked.

This dazed look came over Jake's face.

"Oh," he said. "I'm, um… I've decided not to morph."

"What?" Rachel demanded, finally getting out of her friendly attitude I knew wouldn't stick. "I thought everything's back to normal again. I thought the Animorphs were back."

Jake looked at her, almost as if he pitied her.

"Please, Jake," she pleaded. "We need to fight these Yeerks."

"Alright," he sighed, and not for the first time I saw a weary old man in his once bright, youthful eyes. "Call a meeting tomorrow, after the funeral."

"Where?" I asked. "Cassie's barn?"

"No," he said quickly. Then recovering almost at once, he said, "No, let's have a change of scenery. Ax's scoop."

"What's wrong with Cassie's barn?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing," Jake replied. "Like I said a change of scenery."

"Yeah right, Jake…"

"Look, this has nothing to do with you, so just drop it," he snapped.

He looked down at his knuckles again and started flexing them.

"You should really morph," I said.

"I'll live," he mumbled. "I probably shouldn't have hit him though."

"He had a knife against your throat," Rachel said. "You totally kicked his butt, cuz. I mean come on!"

For some reason Jake didn't look happy at that.

"Oh, this is great Jake," I snapped at him.

He looked up at me, surprised.

"You're blaming yourself again, Jake," I said. "When are you going to accept the fact you're not superman?"

He smiled his rare slow smile I had almost forgot he possessed.

"Who says I'm not?"


	31. Jake X

**Jake**

The morning I was dreading. Friday morning and the morning of Tom's funeral. I got up and thought I'd try one more time. You're probably thinking, try what? Well I'll tell you. Yesterday I got in a fight. My hand was pretty bruised and cut up, so obviously I decided I should morph so I'd be all perfect and nobody would wonder why I was all cut up. I hid in an alley after I said goodbye to Allison and concentrated on my peregrine falcon morph and looked down at my body, expecting to see feathers sprouting out of me. But what did I see? Nothing. So I tried again and again, but still nothing. Thinking that it was probably nothing, I went home and was about to try again when Marco and Rachel showed up. So I had no time, with trying to organize my penguin suit for the funeral. But this morning, before I did anything else, I was going to morph before my parents caught a sight of my hands. I concentrated on falcon morph…nothing happened. Now I was starting to worry. How could I have suddenly stopped morphing? Maybe it was the peregrine falcon morph that didn't work. So I tried to morph tiger. I concentrated, but I didn't feel the sudden surge of adrenaline I'd usually feel when morphing tiger, and when I glanced at the mirror, a confused kid stared back at me.

"Hey," I turned around. Rachel was standing in the doorway. I had completely forgotten her and her parents were coming over before the funeral. "You have to get ready."

"Oh, yeah," I said, feeling embarrassed. I was standing in my boxers while my cousin stared at me, smiling. "Have you come to have a laugh?"

"Yep," she said. "Hey, haven't you morphed yet?" she asked, looking at my hand.

"Oh, I'll morph later."

"What did you tell your mum yesterday?" she asked.

"I didn't," I answered. "I hid my hand in my pocket for the whole time."

I walked over to my dresser and pulled out my suit.

"Well, get a move on," Rachel said. "Your mum's freaking out down there."

"Alright," I said as she left, still worrying about my inability to morph and wondering if I should have told Rachel.

When we got to the service, there was already a huge throng of people. I caught sight of Marco and his dad, Cassie with Tobias and Ax, along with several people from school and Tom's friends.

The service took place and I sat next to my mum and dad at the front. My mum was sobbing in her seat, while my dad watched Tom's empty coffin with watery eyes. I just sat there, in between them, expressionless as the priest talked about how Tom was such a great boy and how he had the best going for him before his life was cruelly taken away from him.

I thought about that and the more I thought about it, the more I came to realise the priest had no idea what he was yabbering on about. He didn't know Tom. How could he have known Tom? I didn't even know Tom by the end. The priest had probably said that about a million guys before he got to Tom. So for the rest of the service I blocked him out and tried to think of happy things. It didn't work. Instead I thought about reasons why I suddenly couldn't morph. Nothing made sense. And then another thought came into my head. Was it true what John had said about me? Was my morals mixed up? Was I using my fighting ability for the wrong reason? I mean I could have devoted my time saving Tom and not saving the rest of the world. Was I hanging around with the wrong people? No. What I was doing was the right thing. It wasn't my fault if I Tom died. That's what I kept telling myself, but somehow I didn't believe myself.

Marco and his dad were a few rows behind me and my family, Rachel and her family were sitting in the row behind me and I had no idea where Ax, Tobias and Cassie were. I was actually surprised Cassie showed up at all. Cassie and I had become more distant than ever. I didn't know why exactly, all I knew was I felt as if she didn't care anymore. Maybe because, lately, I haven't been acting like myself or maybe because I seemed evasive, but something was definitely wrong between us.

When the service ended and four men, including my dad and Rachel's dad, carried the empty coffin out of the church, everyone hung back for a talk about how great Tom was. Rachel's mum went straight over to my mum to try and comfort her when she completely broke down. It just made me hate the Yeerks even more knowing they were doing this to her. Marco's dad went over to speak to my dad and when they had finished, my mum and dad were reunited when Vice-Principal Chapman came up to talk with us.

"I am very sorry for your loss," he said, solemnly to us. "He was a great student and a great person. He truly was."

I felt like spitting on him.

"Jake, I assume you'll be at school on Monday?" he said looking at me.

"Yep," I said, showing to emotion.

"I would like to see you in my office," he said. "Maybe we can arrange for some counselling."

"No thanks,' I said, feeling like it was another elaborate scheme to force me to become a host. "I'm fine."

"Even so," he said, staring me straight in the eyes. "I want to see you in my office. I want to give you something for your loss."

I stared at him. I wanted to morph to tiger and rip out his throat, but I couldn't morph.

"He'll be there," my mum said, interrupting my murderous thoughts. "Won't you, Jake?"

"Yeah, sure mum," I said, trying not to make my mum cry again.

"Alright," Chapman said. "I'll see you first thing Monday morning."

He shook hands with my parents and walked away to a waiting car. After that, it was just teary friends and family. It was nauseating. But the strange thing was, I felt the same way as all those teary people, even more, but it was like I had a mask stuck to my face. I couldn't show any emotion. Was it because I was cold? Or was I ashamed?

Everyone left soon after that. Marco and Rachel stayed the longest. They whispered something about seeing me later. I had no idea what they were talking about until Rachel reminded almost forcefully that there was a meeting at the Ax's scoop. Cassie, Tobias and Ax had already left without a word to me and we left soon after Rachel and Marco.

"Hey, do you mind if I go somewhere?" I asked my parents as we pulled up to our house.

"Don't you think you should stay home, tonight?" my mum said, still sobbing.

"I just don't feel like staying home today," I lied, disgusted in myself. "I just feel like air. To clear my head."

"Alright," my dad said. "Make it quick."

I got out of the car and quickly ran into the house and tried to morph again, with no luck. Giving up I changed from my suit to a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I walked out of the house and started walking up the road towards Cassie's barn and the woods. I knew everybody would probably be there already; they would, after all morph and be there quicker.

As I fought my way through the woods, gaining more cuts and bruises, I wondered if I should tell my friends. If it was absolutely necessary, I thought. As I got closer to Ax's scoop I could hear voices. I walked through and as I thought, everyone was there and everyone had morphed to get there. Tobias, of course didn't have to morph, but only to stay in his natural form. Ax was there in his natural form, Andalite and the others had all their morphing outfits on.

"Okay, let's get on with it," I said, trying to ignore the stares.

"Why didn't you just morph to get here?" Marco asked, suspiciously.

"Wanted to walk," I said dismissively.

"Look at your hands," Rachel said. "You still haven't morphed to cure those? And now you have all those other cuts on your face and hands."

"Look," I said, trying desperately to turn the subject over before they would find out I couldn't morph. "It's no big deal. Now, what are we here for again?"

((To reinstate the Animorphs?)) Tobias suggested.

"Oh, yeah," I sighed. "Let's take a vote."


	32. Rachel VIII

**Rachel**

"I vote we keep on fighting," I said instantly. "I know I acted like a complete jerk and I'm sorry for that."

((I agree with Rachel,)) Tobias said. ((We need to keep fighting no matter what.))

I smiled at him, he just gave me a piercing glare, but I knew it was a sign of affection.

"I never thought I'd say this," Marco said, smiling at me. "But 'let's do it.'"

I laughed. "Way to go in stealing my stereotype."

He laughed.

"Alright, Ax?" Jake asked, looking like he was anywhere but here.

((I do whatever you do Prince Jake,)) Ax replied.

Jake didn't even tell him not to call him Prince. He just looked at his bruised knuckles again. What was going on with him?

"Cassie?" I asked, seeing how Jake was occupied.

"I don't know," she said, softly. "I was kind of enjoying having no responsibility. But I suppose I have to agree with you. Plus, I'm always going to have this power that nobody else has and I need to put it to good use."

That's when Jake jerked involuntary. He looked at Cassie as if looking at her for the first time. He had no expression that told us exactly what he was thinking or feeling, but I knew something was up.

((How about you Jake?)) Tobias asked, he like me had seen Jake's sudden uncontrolled movement.

"Huh?" he said, looking distracted again.

"Do you want to continue?" Marco asked loudly as if he was talking to an old man.

"Um…" Jake had definitely something on his mind.

"Alright, spit it out Jake," I snapped. "What's wrong?"

That got Jake out of his daydreaming.

"Alright, I haven't been completely truthful with you guys," he sighed and started pacing again. That was a bad sign.

"What haven't you been truthful about?" I asked cautiously.

((If this is about that guy down the beach…)) Tobias started but Jake cut in.

"No, it's not about that," Jake said. And then stopped pacing and looked at all of us, with the exception of Cassie, straight in the eye. "I can't morph." Then he started pacing again.

"What?" I spluttered. "How did this happen? How could it happen?"

"I don't know!" he said frustrated. "One day I can morph, the next, it's like I never even touched the blue box."

"Maybe Crayak did something," Marco suggested, wide eyed. "I mean he's had something against you since…you know."

"Since I was a human controller or when I personally destroyed his one weapon against the Iskroot," Jake said, dismissively. "This is not Crayak. He'd be breaking the rules."  
((Prince Jake,)) Ax interrupted. ((If I may offer my knowledge…))

"Of course, Ax," Jake said hurriedly as he stopped pacing and looked at Ax.

Am I correct in thinking that from the beginning of this war, you have loathed it? 

Jake gaped at him. I gaped at Jake. Cassie gaped at Jake. Marco just gaped.

((Prince Jake?)) Ax persisted.

"Well, I wouldn't call it loathing…" Jake said uncomfortably. "But yeah, I don't exactly like being an Animorph."

((Am I also correct in believing that lately you have let the pressure and stress get to you,)) Ax continued, as if he was some therapist examining Jake.

"What?" Jake snapped.

"That's true Jake," Marco said, thoughtfully. "I mean it's understandable and all, but you have been pretty upset, angry, stressed, worried…"

"Thankyou, Marco," Jake said, angrily.

((Combine the stress you normally deal with for a leader,)) Tobias said, getting into it. ((With the stress and other emotions you've been dealing with lately and you have a serious emotional bomb.))

"Are you done examining me?" Jake snapped. "What is your point Ax?"

((My point, Prince Jake,)) Ax said, ((is that your emotions won't let you morph until they have been settled. It is all due to stress. I have seen it a number of times among the tired, worn out Andalite warriors. They have become so tired of war and the ability to morph that their body refuses to give them that opportunity until they have calmed down.))

"So what your saying is Jake is too stressed out and tired of the war so he can't morph?" I translated, slowly.

((Precisely.))

"So just calm down, Jake," Marco said. "Nothing to it. Just think happy thoughts."

Jake gave him a glare.

"Maybe not," Marco said.

"Ax, is there a simpler way to get my morphing ability back?" Jake asked.

((Not that I know of Prince Jake,)) Ax said. ((But don't worry, you're morphing ability will come back with all the animals you have acquired.))

"How long will that take?" Jake asked.

((That depends on you Prince Jake. You need to let go of everything and you will be all well again.))

Jake looked like he'd been kicked in the stomach.

"Well, it looks like I'm out," he said, with a fake cheerfulness.

"We can't do this without you," I said.

"Well, you're going to have to," Jake said. "What do you want me to do? Run in there with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other?"

"Just try and calm down, alright," Marco snapped. "You're not doing yourself any favours."

"How am I not doing myself any favours?" Jake laughed. "This is perfect. I've wanted to get out of this freak show for ages, but I had an agenda. Now I don't and I have the perfect excuse to leave."

"You're just going to leave us?" Cassie whispered. I had almost forgotten she was there. "That's selfish Jake."

"Oh, look whose talking," Jake spat. I was surprised. I knew Jake and Cassie were starting to drift apart, but this was getting out of control. And for what? What was the argument really about? "Don't talk to me about being selfish. If I remember you were the one that left."

"I came back," she said, not whispering anymore. "I came back and I stayed."

"You gave yourself up to a Yeerk," Jake said. "You betrayed us! I'm not the one who's selfish. I can't morph anymore. That's it for me. I'm not classified as an Animorph anymore."

"So is that what you really think of me?" Cassie said. "That I betrayed you? Along with a hypocrite and whatever else you've been thinking of me."

((He didn't mean it Cassie,)) Tobias said quickly.

"No, he did," Cassie said. "Are you going to stick up for him now?" She asked looking at Marco. "Are you going to say that he's just emotional?"

"Emotional?" Jake demanded, looking at Marco. "I'm not emotional."

"Hey, I didn't say that," Marco defended, putting up his hands. "She's twisting it around."

"Oh, so now I'm a liar?" Cassie was practically hysterical.

"I never called you that," Marco said. "Why are you acting like this?"

((Look, guys, it's been a long day,)) Tobias said, breaking up the argument. ((Maybe we should end it.))

"No," I said, straight away. "I need to know Jake. Are you apart of the Animorphs?"

He looked at me and not for the first time did I see a tired old man staring back at me.

"What do you want me to do, Rachel?" he sighed. "I can't morph. I can't fight the Yeerks. I'm not like you guys anymore. There's nothing I can do."

((We're trying to help you here, Jake,)) Tobias said. ((Just try to calm down.))

"That's very easy for you to say, isn't it?" Jake snapped.

"You still haven't answered my question, Jake," I said. "Do you still want to be an Animorph?"

"I'll tell you what," he said. "If I get my morphing power back, I'll join up again. But if I don't, that's it for me."

((Will you even try to get your power back?)) Tobias argued. ((It's not like your going to wake up one morning and find out you have them back.))

"Well what do you want me to do?" Jake snapped. "It's all about stress, that's what Ax said. So I take a few weeks off and maybe that will help."

"Ax also said, that you have to want your morphing powers," Marco pointed out.

"You want me to tell you that I love this war?" Jake snapped, furiously. "You want me to tell you that it's the best thing to happen to me? Well it's not going to happen. Tobias, you and Rachel love the war, you both need it. Ax thinks he has a duty. Marco has a purpose. I don't even want to think why Cassie's in this war. You all have some purpose. I don't."

"That's crap," I said. "We all have one purpose. That purpose is to save this world."

"When will you learn that this planet is doomed," Jake said. "Do you really think we have even a slight chance of winning this fight? We're just a fly annoying a frog to the Yeerks. We're through."

"That's what you think," I said quietly. "Marco was right, you are emotional. That's why you're not thinking straight."

"I never said he was emotional," Marco shouted, angrily.

"I'm not emotional, Rachel," Jake said, softly. "I'm the only person here that can see this war for what it truly is. A war not worth fighting. Can't any of you see that we have no hope? We're done for. That's it."

He said this as if he was merely talking about the weather.

"You don't believe that," I said.

"Don't I?" he answered. "Open your eyes Rachel. We are four kids, a bird and an Andalite against thousands of Yeerks with human, Hork-Bajir and Taxxon hosts. Not to mention that psychopath of a Visser. We are out numbered. The Andalites are never coming, no one's coming to save us. We are doomed."

"That doesn't mean we have to give up hope," I said, stubbornly.

"Why are you in this war, Rachel?" Jake asked me suddenly. "Tell me why you are still fighting."

"To save this planet," I said simply.

"No, that's Ax's excuse," Jake said. "Actually he doesn't even want to save this planet. He wants to stop the Yeerks before they reach the Andalite home world. Marco's in this war to save his mum. Tobias is in this war because it was a promise to Elfangor. Like I said before I don't even want to think about why Cassie's in this war. But why are you?"

"I…" and then I stopped. Why was I in this war? Saving the planet wasn't exactly my ground reason. Neither was saving my family. That was Jake's reason, not mine. Then it hit me. The war was what I was and Jake knew that. He knew what I was like, more than I knew myself. He just wanted me to admit it. Well, that wasn't going to happen.

"Like I said, Jake, I'm in this war to save the planet," I said.

"Alright, Rachel, if you say so," he said, turning away.

"We all know why you're in this war," I said. "For Tom, right? Why does that have to stop here? Just because Tom's dead doesn't mean you have to stop fighting. You can fight for him. Get the Yeerks back for what they did."

All I could see of Jake was the side of his face. His hair was covering his eyes, so the only thing I could see was his mouth and nose. His mouth became a thin line and there were creases around them as if he was grimacing.

"I'm not you Rachel," he said simply. "I don't fight to get back at someone. That's not me."

"No, that's not you," I agreed, walking towards him. If I did this right I could get him back on our side and then maybe his morphing will be back. "But you can make it you. You can make yourself hard and ruthless. Look what the Yeerks did to you, Jake…"

"Don't listen to her Jake," Marco cut in, staring at me, icily. "She's trying to make you like her."

"So what if I am?" I shot at him.

"That's low, Rachel," he spat. "If he turns out to be as ruthless as you, we're all screwed."

"Didn't I make it clear I was out," Jake said. "I can't morph anymore or has that escaped your attention?"

((Prince Jake, you have to calm down if you want your morphing powers back,)) Ax said quickly.

((I say we end this here,)) Tobias said finally. ((If we put too much pressure on Jake, he's never going to get his morphing power back.))

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Cassie muttered.

"What is wrong with you?" Marco exploded. "Why have you all of a sudden turned into Ms. I-don't-give-a-damn-about-Jake-anymore?"

"Hey, Marco, I never asked her to care for me in the first place," Jake said hurriedly.

"You haven't answered my question," Marco said, turning to Cassie. "And don't give me that crap about him saying you are a hypocrite."

"I don't know, alright?" Cassie shouted. I looked at her. Something was definitely going on.


	33. Cassie V

**Cassie**

I tried to block it out of my mind. I tried to forget. I hadn't even mentioned it. Hadn't even recorded it. But it was there always. And now my friends had to know why I had turned cold to Jake. It wasn't because of some stupid thing he said. It wasn't because we had an argument. It was because I had seen something. I had seen the near future. It wasn't some dream I had, or some figment of the imagination. I had actually seen the future. Not the kind of future you see in movies where the characters go twenty years into the future where there are flying cars. I saw the future in a couple of week's time.

I looked at my friends. My legs felt wobbly, like jelly and I found that I couldn't stand up anymore. I lowered myself to the ground. All of my friends were looking at me. Rachel looked curious. Marco looked angry. Tobias as always had his piercing hawk stare. Ax looked wondrous. His two main eyes looking at me, while his stalk eyes searching the skies, his scoop, my friends. And Jake. We had grown apart because of me. Because of what I'd seen. He didn't know why I was cold. He thought I didn't care and had backed away, being the modest, kind guy he was, he didn't bother me, giving me space. He looked at me and I saw all the hurt, the anger, the confusion, the sorrow that engulfed him.

"The Ellimist came to me," I said. "Right after Crayak came to us. He showed me the near future."

"How near?" Rachel asked. "Are we talking a year, a month, a day?"

"A couple of weeks from now," I clarified. "He showed me what would happen to everyone of us if Jake had accepted that offer that Rachel had just proposed. To fight for revenge. I saw what would happen to each one of us."

I let that sink in. Ax's four eyes were on me. I had to continue.

"I also saw what would happen to us if Jake decided to stay out of this war," I looked at him. "I won't continue if this will put any more pressure or stress or worry onto you."

"Continue," he said, simply.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded.

I looked at Rachel. "If Jake were to accept your offer, you would die from Jake's tiger morph. If Jake were to stay out of the war, you would be so consumed with rage and hatred that you would continue. You would live, but you would have so much hatred that it would finally corrupt you."

I watched her for a bit. She had grown pale. She looked at Jake, who had slid to the ground and had his face in his hands. I walked over to him and put an arm around him. He didn't move.

"Marco," I looked at him. He didn't look back. "If Jake were to accept, you would have rebelled against Jake's commands, finally costing the Animorphs freedom. Except Rachel… and Jake. If Jake were to decline, you would have resigned from the Animorphs and your mum would forever be lost."

Marco turned away from me. I felt Jake tremble and I hugged him tighter.

"Do you want me to continue?" I asked them.

"We… we have to know," Rachel said.

"Tobias," I looked at him and he returned my stare. "If Jake were to accept, you would have been made into a controller like the rest of us, but you would lose your power when they made you demorph for over two hours. If Jake were to decline, you would have gone down in Rachel's world."

Tobias ruffled his feathers but said nothing.

"If Jake were to accept, I would have been made into a controller, one of my main jobs was torturing the innocent. If Jake were to decline I would lead a normal life again, but be paranoid as hell. Never making friends, always by myself." I then turned to Ax.

((Please, just tell me,)) he said.

"You were made into a controller, Ax," I said softly. "That's if Jake were to accept. If Jake were to decline, you would have been stuck on Earth. Knowing nobody, having nobody. All by yourself."

I took a breath. I couldn't say the last bit. I couldn't destroy Jake. But he had to know. I looked at his trembling hands over his face. Gently I pulled them off his face and saw the pale boy underneath. He wasn't crying, he wasn't sobbing. His eyes were open, but he wasn't looking at anything. I could see the hurt in his eyes and for once I wasn't the only one. Rachel stared at her cousin with great pity. Marco would do anything for Jake, but he looked like he couldn't do anything to take the pain away. Even Ax looked sorrowful for his prince. After everything he has been through this past week, who wouldn't feel sorry for him?

"I won't continue if you don't want me to, Jake," I said softly.

"You've come this far," he said.

"Do you remember me saying you still had your freedom?" I asked. He nodded. "You were never made a controller. You were kept in a chamber. A torture chamber. Dying bodies everywhere. Rachel's dead body pinned opposite you as a constant reminder of what you did. I was one of your torturers." A tear rolled down my cheek as I said that. Rachel had turned away and Tobias landed on her shoulder. I knew he must have said something to her, because she nodded. Marco looked sick. Only Ax showed no emotion. Jake just sat there.

"And if I were to decline?" he asked.

"If you were to decline, you would set into a state of depression. Jake, you would be clinically depressed. You had stopped eating altogether. Marco and I tried to get you out of it, but I had no social skills anymore and Marco couldn't do it on his own."

I was probably imagining it, but at that moment Rachel and Jake shared a look.

"Is that it?" Marco asked, his voice sounded hollow, croaky. "Why did the Ellimist show you this?"

"He said that recent events would change how we think, how we act and we needed to know what would happen," I said.

There was silence, absolute silence. Nobody talked and then…

"So this is my decision?" Jake said. Everyone looked at him. Everyone pitied him. "If I fight, the Yeerks get us; if I don't fight we have a Day's of Our Lives scenario? So once again I'm left to decide the fate of the human race."

"I shouldn't have told you this today," I said, ashamed of myself. "I should have let you relax. I don't know what I was thinking."

"So either way, we're doomed?" Marco said.

"The Ellimist said if Jake accepts my offer," Rachel pointed out. "My offer was to become cold and ruthless. If Jake fights by being himself it won't happen. Jake would never kill me. I know that for certain."

"That's if Jake fights by being himself, Marco said. "Who's to say he's not going to change."

"Guys," Jake said suddenly. "I'm right here. Stop acting as if I'm not."

"There's still the morphing problem," Marco said. "Jake, man, you need to find a way to get your morphing power back."

((How's he supposed to do that with all that's going on?)) Tobias asked sceptically.

"Wait a minute," Rachel said suddenly. "Remember that day you found out that Crayak made that deal with me," she looked at Jake. "You were so angry with me. When you were yelling at me, I thought I saw your hair change from brown to orange. And you didn't even notice."

"So you're saying we have to make Jake angry?" I asked.

((There is still the problem of Jake not wanting to morph,)) Tobias pointed out. ((Ax-man are you sure there's not a simpler way to get Jake's morphing power back?))

((I am sure, Tobias,)) Ax said.

((Well I'm out of ideas,)) Tobias said.

"What idea did you have in the first place?" Marco asked.

"So lets make Jake mad," Rachel said.

"I don't think so," Jake said, standing up. He stumbled a bit, but caught himself before he fell over. "I am not getting mad. I don't feel like it today."

"So what are we supposed to do?" Rachel asked. "I don't like the idea of being driven to hatred."

"Yeah, well I don't like the idea of killing my cousin," Jake snapped.

"Let's just stick with the original plan," I said. "Let's go on hiatus for a couple of weeks, let Jake relax."

"I'm fine with that," Marco said, quickly.

Jake looked at his watch. "Great, I should have been out of here half an hour ago. Next time if we're meeting lets choose a place where there aren't so much thorns. I think I got pricked about thirty times before I got here."

"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked as he walked towards the small opening he made.

"Uh, no thanks, Cass," he said. "You have no shoes anyway."

"That's alright, my feet are pretty strong," I insisted.

"No thanks, Cassie," he said.

"Oh, alright," I said disappointedly as he disappeared from view.

I looked at the others. Rachel had already morphed to bald eagle and she and Tobias were starting to fly away.

Marco looked at me. "He'll be alright," he said. "I'll make sure he doesn't become depressed."

"That's what you said to me in couple of week's time,' I sighed.

"I won't let anything happen to him," Marco repeated. "I promise that to you."

In the back of my mind I remembered a similar promise made by Marco. The result, Jake got shot in the head.

"I wish I could believe you," I said. "I really do."

((I don't think Prince Jake would appreciate you talking about him behind his back.))

I jumped. I had completely forgotten Ax was still there.


	34. Jake XI

**Jake**

I was the tiger. I could see Tom before me, racing away from me, fear on his face. He tripped and loomed in front of him. Then suddenly he started to change shape. He grew long blonde hair. Deep blue eyes replaced his dark brown ones. He changed in to Rachel, my cousin. The tiger pounced on her. Crayak didn't appear like usual. He let me see this dream. I landed on her body. She started shrieking. Yelling at me. But I ignored all this. I lowered my bared, sharp teeth to her throat and ripped it out.

I woke up in cold sweat. I sat bolt upright, shivering like mad. I got out of bed and hurried towards the bathroom. When I got there I lifted the lid of the toilet seat and threw up. I flushed and sat down against the wall. Of all the times I would have appreciated Crayak to turn up in one of my freaky dreams it would have been then. I placed a shaky hand over my face. Why did it have to be me? Why did I have to be the leader? Why did I have to make the life and death decisions? Why did I have to choose what futures my friends would have? It was night and I had chucked up half of my guts. I took my hand off my face and when I opened my eyes, I found I wasn't in my bathroom anymore.

I was in a grassy area. All I could see was grass. I stood up and looked around me. There was nothing but grass. There was no sky, just grass. Nobody else was around. Rachel wasn't there. Cassie wasn't there. Marco wasn't there. Tobias wasn't there. Ax wasn't there. I was by myself.

"Hello Jake," a voice said.

I looked around me. The voice came from everywhere. All around me. The Ellimist.

"Very good, Jake," he said, showing himself as an old man.

"What do you want from me?"

"I've come to talk with you, Jake," he said, his old face showing no emotion.

"No," I said.

"No, what Jake?"

"No," I repeated. "I don't want to talk with you."

"Then you will listen."

Suddenly I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't bear it.

"What do you want from me?" I shouted. "What more can you take away from me?"

"I haven't taken anything away from you, Jake," he had calmness in his voice that infuriated.

"Yes you have," I shouted. "You've take away my brother, you've taken away my morphing power, and you've taken away my confidence and my happiness…"

"No, Jake you've taken away that for yourself," he said. "You refuse to be happy, so why should you be. I haven't taken away your brother, the Yeerks have and your stress and worry has taken away your morphing ability."

I just stood there. How could I argue with a speech like that?

"Jake, Cassie has told you the two possible futures; I am here to make the choice simpler."

"I don't want your help," I said, turning away.

"I know the pain you're going through, Jake," he said, still calmly. "I am here to make it go away."

"You can't do that," I said. "It's against the rules."

"Yes," the Ellimist said. "But I can help it go away."

"Like I said, I don't want your help," I said, stubbornly.

"Those two futures are just some futures that could happen," the Ellimist continued as though I hadn't spoken. "There are many others."

"How could there be many others?" I asked. "There are only two possible choices. Fight or don't fight."

"You need to listen to your friends more," the Ellimist smirked. "Wasn't it Marco who said that you could fight for another cause?"

"What other cause?" I said, frustrated. "There is no other cause. Besides I don't have my morphing power. I can't fight."

"If you want your morphing power back, you will get it."

"Well, I don't want it back,' I shouted. "I don't want to be the leader. I don't want to be in this fight."

"If you don't lead, who will?" the Ellimist asked, still in that annoying calm tone. "Nobody will take Marco seriously. Rachel is too reckless. Cassie is not reckless enough. Tobias continues to doubt himself. Aximili only cares for his own planet. They will crumble without you."

"That's not true," I said.

"No?" he said. "You are fooling nobody. They know it too, even though they try to fool themselves. Rachel thinks of herself as indestructible, as does Aximili. Cassie tries to convince herself that you are not cut out to be leader and tries to persuade you to drop out to spare your feelings. Tobias doesn't fool himself or anybody around him. Marco tries to make a joke out of it, but he knows you are the heart of the group."

"Why are you telling me this?" I shouted. "Is it not enough that I am slowly dying out of pain, guilt and pressure? Why do you keep doing this to me?"

"I am trying to help you Jake," he said.

"No, you're trying to destroy me," I shouted. "You and Crayak are the same."

I think I might have angered him, because he waved his hand and the next second I found myself back on my hard bathroom floor.

"Find your cause," I heard him say in my head.


	35. Marco VIII

**Marco**

"You do know this is all your fault," I said to Rachel. It was Saturday and we were all in Cassie's barn, minus Ax who couldn't stand leaving his scoop so early in the morning and Jake. He had made some petty excuse about resting up.

"What's my fault?" she asked distractedly. She was filing her nails.

"All of this," I said, trying to get her attention by attempting to grab her nail filer.

"How is it my fault?" she asked, slapping away my hand.

"Well, let's see," I said, mocking stupidity. "You turned psychotic, you broke up the group, you went on a rampage and most recently you made Jake that stupid offer that's landed us all in trouble."

"Hey, Cassie," she said looking up. "What was Jake's future thing if he declined my offer?"

"He would become depressed," Cassie said, sounding depressed herself.

"Was that it?" Rachel persisted. "Was there anything else?"

"No, just that he became clinically depressed."

"Did he have any side affects when he was depressed?"

"He never left home, he never spoke to anyone and he never ate," Cassie said.

I looked at Rachel. She had gone all pale and was biting her lip.

"What?" I snapped. "What is it?"

"I shouldn't tell you," she said. "I promised Jake."

"If this has anything to do with that depression thing, we need to know," Cassie said, quickly.

Rachel hesitated, the two demons within her battling it out. And then she sighed. "Jake hasn't been eating," she said. "Only just recently he eats, but not much. It's like food makes him sick."

"And you decided to tell us now?" I shouted furiously. "What if he turned worse?"

"He's better now," Rachel said, defensively. "He's getting better."

"That doesn't mean he's going to get better," Cassie exclaimed.

((Rachel was only trying to do what she thought was best,)) Tobias said, sticking up for me.

"Yeah, and that could lead to Jake's depression," I said, snidely. "So, thankyou Rachel. You've made my day knowing that you may have caused our leader to become anorexic."

"He's not anorexic," Rachel cried. "He's not some teenage girl model wannabe."

"Oh, you mean like you?" I snapped.

"That's it monkey boy," Rachel shouted. She stood up from my bale of hay and started towards me, but Tobias landed on my shoulder.

((We don't need this right now,)) he said, calmly. ((Jake doesn't need this right now. Rachel you said he was getting better right?))

Rachel nodded.

((So we don't say anything to him unless he gets worse, right?))

"I can't lie to him," Cassie said. "I can't look him straight in the face and lie to him."

"You're not lying to him," I said. "You're just not telling him the whole story."

Cassie gave a little smile, but said nothing.

"What do you think he'll choose?" Rachel asked, softly.

I looked at her. She was Xena, but that didn't mean she didn't have a conscious. I had told her more than once that it was her fault we were in this mess, but I don't think I really meant it.

"I don't know," I admitted. "All I know is that I prefer my life Yeerk free."

Everyone nodded.

The only person that had been infested by a Yeerk involuntary was Jake. He never talked about it, but whenever it was mentioned I saw a painful expression on his face. I knew the pain he went through. I knew he suffered; Cassie had been there with him when the Yeerk came out and she said she'd never seen anything like it before. She looked horrified herself. Jake had trouble walking for the first couple of hours, being infested you have no control over your body and he collapsed on his first try. Being his best friend I would have traded places with him in an instant, for some reason I think I would have had less trouble with it than he had. He did mention that the Yeerk tortured him over his brother. That was Jake's one weakness.

For a while everyone sat in silence. Probably thinking about their own futures and what would happen to them if Jake chose the wrong one. In my mind, both of them were the wrong ones. I hated the Ellimist right then. What he was doing to us and especially what he was doing to Jake.


	36. Jake XII

**Jake**

Monday. The weekend had gone by so fast. I hadn't spoken to any of my friends since our meeting in the woods. The Ellimist hadn't bothered me as yet and Crayak stopped haunting my dreams just so I could have more terrifying images about killing my cousin. I had spent most of my hours at home lounging in front of the TV. My eating had picked up and I tried to block everything else out that didn't have a square screen around it. But one thing I couldn't block out was what the Ellimist had said: there's another cause. Another cause to fight. But what cause was there? The only cause I could think about was to avenge Tom's death. What else was there?

"If you have any problems ring me up and I'll pick you up, alright," my mum looked earnestly at me.

My mum had offered to take me to school and I accepted, not wanting to sit on the bus and have kids staring at me awkwardly.

Mum had parked right outside the school and I could already see kids who were walking past staring at me.

"Yeah, alright," I said, getting out of the car.

"Have a nice day, honey," she shouted after me.

"Bye."

I walked in, very much aware that people were whispering and staring at me. I was probably paranoid, but they were all looking at me.

I saw somebody point to me and knew I wasn't being paranoid. I was just about to turn around when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I spun around and found myself staring straight at our Vice-principal. Chapman.

"Jake, I thought you might have forgotten," he said, smiling. "To go to my office."

"Oh, yeah," I said, trying very hard not to look at his forehead.

"Let's go then."

He turned back around and walked away, I followed him. People were still looking at me. I heard a conversation between two girls.

"…sorry for him," one girl said.

"What was his brother's name? Tim?"

"Tom," the first girl corrected.

"What are you stalking Jake now?"

"He is cute."

"Here he comes, shush."

The two girls stared at me as I walked past. Chapman walked into his office and I followed. He closed the door behind me and asked me to sit.

I sat down on the edge of my seat and waited for him to sit down. He looked at me intently and I felt like he was examining my brain.

"So, Jake," he said, finally. "How have you been?" He put on a concerned face that didn't fool me for a minute.

"I'm okay," I said.

"Really?" he said. "You know I am a big member of the Sharing and we are there for people who have lost family members and since Tom was one of our members, we know how much you must be hurting."

I wanted to scream, you did this to Tom! But instead I smiled.

"No thankyou," I said, politely. "I'm not into groups."

"You should at least consider it," he said, almost desperately.

"I'll consider it," I lied, just trying to keep him quiet.

"Good," he sighed, like he had won me over. "I would just like to personally give you this." He pulled one of his drawers open and took out a package. He handed it to me and I looked at it. It was a Discman. He had given me a Discman.

"I don't want this," I said, trying to hand it back to him. But he had this strange smile on his face.

"It is a condolences present," he said, pushing it back.

"Thanks," I said standing up. "I'd better go then. The bells going to go."

'Alright," he said, standing up. "Please close the door on your way out."

I opened the door and strode out, closing the door behind me. The bell hadn't gone yet, so people were still hurrying around. Most of them kept staring at me, intently. I had enough. I started to walk up the hallway. I was in such a rush that I didn't even notice when I passed my friends.

I had reached my goal. The boy's bathroom. I hurried in and checked nobody was inside. I then walked back to the door and was about to lock it when Marco came rushing in.

"Hey, Jake," he said. "Fancy meeting you here."

I ignored him and continued to lock the door before anyone else had a chance to enter.

"Hey, what's that?" Marco said, trying to grab the Discman from me, but I swerved away and started to take it out of the box.

"You going to talk or do I have to guess everything you're doing?" Marco said, impatiently.

"This is what Chapman gave to me," I said, hollowly, taking the Discman from its bubble wrap wrapping.

"Pretty expensive earning for a Yeerk," Marco commented. "Visser Three must be overpaying."

"Shut up," I said. I had taken the Discman completely from its wrapping and was looking at it intently.

I turned to the nearest wall and for the second time in two weeks I threw an expensive item against a wall where it crushed.

"What is wrong with you?" Marco exclaimed. "Do you know how much those things cost? If you didn't want it I would have taken it."  
I ignored him still and went over to the broken Discman. It had split in two. I opened it up in the middle where the wiring was and what I saw made me want to chuck back up what I had eaten over the weekend. A slimy Yeerk was slithering away inside it.

I walked over to the nearest toilet and let the Yeerk drop in the toilet bowl. I had one glimpse of it slide to the bottom before I pushed the flush button. I chucked the broken Discman in my bag.

"Good call, man," Marco said as I came out of the cubicle. "You would have been done for."

"Thanks," I said, going over to the sink. I washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. I don't know how I looked to everyone else, but when I looked at myself I was shocked. I just looked so tired and weary. Like I had aged so dramatically.

"Hey man," Marco said, coming up behind me. "You alright? You don't look too good."

"What?" I said, distractedly, running my hand through my hair. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Marco just looked at me sceptically.

"I think I'm going insane, Marco," I said, finally giving in. "I just think I'm losing my mind."

I slid down against the wall, next to the remains of the broken Discman. When I looked up at him, I could see the pity. It just made me want to cry, because I knew now how the rest of them saw me. They didn't see me the way the Yeerks saw me. Hard, ruthless, merciless. My friends knew I had my limits. They knew I had taken a lot since I became leader, that I had suffered the most. They didn't buy into the whole fearless leader act. And they knew that this one fight against myself, the death of Tom, the choice of life and death was my breaking point. They knew me so well, that I was scared to be around them, because that would be the one time that I might have to show all the pain that I've been keeping inside me.

"You're not losing your mind," Marco said. "You're just having a hard time."

"Yeah," I said, trying to have some humour and failing terribly. "I'm probably overreacting."

I tried to get up, but I couldn't handle it anymore. I fell back down, tears running down my face. I didn't even know they had started. One minute my face was dry the next I couldn't control them.

"It's alright, buddy," Marco said, putting a hand around my shoulder, as I dug my face into my hands. "It's alright."

I wanted to scream, to yell, to shout, to do anything that would control the pain.

As if from far away I heard the bell go and the pounding of many feet as people rushed to their classrooms.

"I…I can't do this any…anymore, Marco," I sobbed into my hands, thanking God silently that the bathroom door was locked. "I can't choose your future."

"Hey, I'm cool with not fighting," he said, squeezing my shoulder encouragingly. "It'll be alright. First we'll figure out how to get your morphing ability back, then we'll sort through this problem."

"Why is life so unfair to me?" I asked, grabbing my hair painfully.

"It's alright, buddy," Marco said, softly, sitting down next to me. "We'll get you through this. You're our fearless leader remember?"

I gave a small laugh. "Yeah, very fearless now aren't I?"

"Even heroes have their off days," Marco shrugged. "This is yours. Everyone saw it coming."

"That's comforting," I said, wiping away the last tears. "So now you can all shove this in my face if I yell at you for something or other."

"If you get another chance at yelling at us," Marco sighed. "You know as much as I hate to admit it, we're Earth's only hope. We can't do this without you."

"I can't do it anymore, Marco," I said, desperately. "There's too much pressure. And I can't morph and I still have to choose. Life just doesn't get any easier."

"Just calm down, alright?" he said, getting up off the floor and wiping himself off. "Relax, man, and your morphing power will come back."

"Yeah," I said, standing up and turning to the mirror. I looked terrible. I looked more worn out then I did before. I rubbed my eyes, but that just created more red. "Just relax, like that's not hard. Now I've got Chapman on my tail to infest me."

Marco groaned. "We've got Maths now," he said. "Rachel's in our class this period. Cassie's in English. I had to practically restrain her from coming in after you."

"Yeah?" I asked turning around. Maybe this was a sign that we could still be together.

Marco smiled. "Yeah, a bit romantic don't you think?" he laughed. "You and her in the bathroom together. Smoochy-smoochy."

"Shut up," I said, chucking my bag at him. He caught it and threw it back at me.

"Hey, keep your own junk," he said, walking towards the door. "Do you want me to wait for you or do you want me to go on?"

"You can go on," I said. "I'll be a minute."

"Alright," he unlocked the door and before he walked out I grabbed his arm.

"Hey thanks man," I said.

"No problems."


	37. Marco VIIII

**Marco**

I thought I'd seen everything. Humans dying, aliens, massacres, my friends turning into animals. I thought I'd seen it all, that nothing would surprise me, but I was surprised with what just happened. I had never seen my best friend completely break down in sobs, but I had then. If there was ever a time that I felt completely depressed it was then. I tried to comfort Jake, I really did, but I don't think he can be comforted. Too much was going on in his head. Too much pain, suffering, anger, confusion. I had left him alone in the bathroom; give him a minute by himself. Now I was thinking I shouldn't have left. He might not come to class.

I ran down the hallway to my classroom. It was well into first period and I knew I would be in trouble. I opened the door and Ms. Smith stopped her talk about the wonderful world of algebra to look at me. The whole class was looking at me. I put this goofy smile in my face.

"Marco, where have you been?" Ms. Smith asked me.

"I've been smoking pot," I said, promptly. "Would you like a taste?"

"Sit down," she said icily. "Detention after school."

I gave her a charming smile and spotted Rachel at the back of the class, giving me a death stare. I smiled as I noticed the spare desk next to her. I sat down and opened my book.

Rachel started scribbling fervently on a piece of paper. She handed me the paper and I opened it.

_How is he? _was all she had written. I got out a pen and scribbled back.

_Oh, he's fine, I gave him some of my pot, _was what I wrote back.

Rachel continued to give me a death stare. She was in the middle of writing something back when the door opened again and Jake walked in. He didn't have red eyes or a tear stained face.

"Sorry, I'm late," he said, quietly to Ms. Smith.

"Oh, it's alright Jake, take a seat," then she looked at me and then back at Jake and I think she got the gist of it.

Everyone in the classroom was staring at Jake. Some were whispering and some were even pointing. Jake was aware of this and when he reached the seat next to me, he sunk as far down as he possibly could.

"Now, everybody turn to page 187 for today's exercise," Ms. Smith said.

Period one went by fast after that. Period two I had English with Rachel. Jake had Gym, which he sat out on and Cassie had Maths. By the time recess came around, I had enough of school. We had a sub for English so all that period the whole class talked. Rachel and I were at the centre of the attention. Everyone knew Rachel was Jake's cousin and I was his best friend. Rachel told all of them where to stick their questions and I just ignored them, occasionally throwing jokes that only Rachel found funny, for the first time ever.

Rachel and I went straight to the cafeteria after period two and found Cassie already seated at a table eating some sort of goo.

"You shouldn't be eating that," Rachel said, sitting down beside her, while I sat opposite them. "It can't be good for your skin."

"Oh yeah," I said, sarcastically. "You have a perfect complexion. Absolutely fabulous. You wouldn't want to get a pimple, so don't worry if it's bad for your stomach, just think about your skin!"

Cassie laughed, but Rachel gave me her death stare again.

"Where's Jake?" Cassie asked, stifling the laughter and looking worried.

"I don't know," I said. "He had Gym. He'd be all sweaty like animals, just the way you like it."

Cassie blushed, but continued to press me for information. "What happened before? Why was he in such a rush to get to the bathroom?"

"Bladder problems?" Rachel shrugged.

I leaned forward and motioned for the other two to follow my lead. "Chapman gave him a Discman."

"Lucky him," Rachel said. "That's really expensive."

"Yeah, that's what I said," I laughed. "He broke it."

"What did he do that for?" Rachel exclaimed.

"He was thinking ahead, our leader was," I smirked and lowered my voice. "There was a Yeerk in it."

"What?" Cassie said, a little too loudly.

Several people looked up.

"Shush," I said, as the people turned back to their food.

"Yeah," I continued. "They're trying to infest him."

"This is like a terrible nightmare," Cassie said. "It's as if Jake's done something so horrible and he's being punished for it."

"Anything else happen?" Rachel asked, as she unwrapped her lunch she brought from home.

"No," I said. I wasn't about to betray Jake's trust.

"You sure?" Cassie said, she had this penetrating stare.

"Yes," I said. "Can we drop this?"

"Hey," someone said behind me.

I turned around and saw Jake standing there. He sat down next to me. I don't know if I was imagining it, but he seemed different.

"Where's your food?" Cassie asked, quickly.

"I'm not hungry," Jake said, smiling at her.

Cassie had a worried expression on her face. "You should really eat."

Jake gave her a puzzled look. Then realisation crossed his face and he looked at Rachel.

"You told them, didn't you?" he said.

Rachel looked up. She was going red, but she stared him straight in the face.

"Yes, I did," she said. "Do you blame me? Especially after we heard what would happen to you in one of the futures."

"You had no right to tell them," Jake said.

"And what would have happened to you if she had not?" Cassie asked.

"I'm eating," Jake said. "It was just for a couple of days. I've started eating again so you can all stop acting all parental."

"Oh, like you act?" I teased.

Jake gave me a friendly punch that might just give me a bruise.

"Ouch," I said, rubbing my arm. "You hit like an ox."

"That'll teach you."

"So you are eating?" Cassie pressed.

"Yes," he said. "I'm eating. My mum was overreacting."  
Cassie seemed to deflate.

Just then a group of girls walked past our table. When they saw Jake, they started whispering. They actually stopped in front of our table.

"Yes?" Rachel said loudly. "Did you want something, because otherwise we don't want you around."

The girls moved on, now whispering about Rachel.

Jake sighed. "I am getting sick of this," he said. "Do you know that wherever I walk, people stop and stare at me."

"Hey, I wouldn't complain, the girls think you're hot."

"Is that all you think about, Marco?" Rachel asked.

"Yep," I said, cheerfully.

Rachel and Cassie didn't laugh. They stared stonily at something behind us.

"How were your first two classes back at school, Jake?" a voice said.

I twisted in my seat. Vice-principal Chapman was standing there, looking down at Jake with false concern.

"Fine," Jake said, staring back at Chapman, emotions concealed.

"Did you try out that Discman yet?"

Jake still didn't show any emotion.

"Isn't it against school rules to have Discmans at school?" Jake said, innocently, although I could tell he was trying to tell he was thinking up a good excuse.

"I think we can make an exception," Chapman said happily. "Why don't you try it out now? I've got a CD right here."

From his pocket he pulled out a CD. Jake looked trapped. Chapman extended his arm and then… he froze. I jumped. He just froze. I looked around me and the only people moving were my friends. Jake slowly got to his feet and looked around.

"Hey guys," Tobias and Ax had popped out of nowhere. Tobias in human form, Ax in Andalite.

"Alright, Ellimist," Jake said loudly, walking around Chapman and into the centre of cafeteria. "There's no need to play around."

"Very good Jake," an old man appeared right before Jake. "You're learning."

"Spare me," Jake said. "What do you want this time?"

"You are all now aware of the possible futures you face," the Ellimist said, now turning to the rest of us. "Unfortunately for you in the other timeline, Cassie had no knowledge of what lay ahead and in turn none of you did. In that case, Jake chose a decision at that moment and life continued."

"Your point?" I said, faking a yawn.

"My point is by now the events in the two possible futures would already by occurring," the Ellimist turned to Jake. "The future has already changed."

"That's a good thing," Jake said, and putting on the first true smile I had seen in ages.

"For you, yes it is," the Ellimist continued to look at Jake. "But what I neglected to inform Cassie was that this was a deal with Crayak. Crayak was certain that your knowledge of the two futures would drive you out of your mind."

"It hasn't," Rachel said fiercely. "Jake is still Jake."

"That was my point," the Ellimist now turned to Rachel. "But there was another part of the deal." He turned back to Jake, now with pity all over his face. "You only have a limited time to decide."

Jake went pale. He rubbed a hand over his face, as though waking from a nightmare. I looked at the others. Cassie was still seated next to Rachel. She looked worried. Rachel looked furious. Tobias showed no emotion, as with Ax. I felt like strangling the Ellimist.

Jake was the first to recover. He gulped and looked at the Ellimist.

"How much time do I have?" he asked.

"By the end of the day."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Cassie demanded. "I could have prepared them for this."

The Ellimist didn't answer. He looked at Jake, who started pacing, deep in thought.

"Have you made a decision?" he asked.

Jake stopped pacing and looked at the Ellimist. I could see the hatred in his eyes. It scared me.

"What did I choose?" he asked, barely a whisper.

"That could effect your decision …"

"What did I choose?" Jake repeated, still barely a whisper.

"You declined Rachel's offer," the Ellimist said.

"Is this another one of your tricks?" Tobias asked. "Is this just a cruel joke on us? On Jake?"

The Ellimist looked at Tobias for a minute. A strange expression came over his face. Then as if realising he had shown too much he said, "This is no trick on your behalf."

"But now that we know what's happening, won't that mean that we can change the future?" Cassie inquired.

"You will not remember anything of Jake's choice and your glimpses, but you will remember everything else" the Ellimist replied. He turned to Jake, who had started pacing again. "Have you made your choice?"

Jake didn't stop pacing and he didn't answer the Ellimist. He had this concentrated look on his face, like he was imagining something, or picturing something in his mind. For a minute I thought his skin rippled, as if changing colour, from white to blue, but that illusion disappeared and I was staring at an un-rippling Jake.

"Jake?"

Jake looked up, with a disappointed look on his face. "No," he said. "I haven't made my decision yet."

"Well, you have to make haste…"

"What so I can decide if my friends live and become depressed or if they live and become controllers?" Jake sneered, which was very unlike him. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that Rachel dies because I rip out her throat. And I stay free but am being tortured by Cassie? So what exactly is it you want me to choose?"

"We always have more than two choices," the Ellimist said softly.

"Will you stop with all the riddles?" Jake shouted. "Is that all you're good for? Can't you stop being cryptic for one minute and tell me what the other choice is, because I'm out of ideas."

"You already know."

I thought Jake would chuck a mental right then, but all he did was smile.

"You know what?" he said, and I saw this strange brightness in his eyes. "I've made my choice." He turned to Rachel and looked her dead in the eyes. "I accept your offer. Prepare to die, cousin."

And he turned around, walked out with his bag over his shoulder and the cafeteria was full of life again.


	38. Cassie VI

**Cassie**

"…I think you like this band, don't… where's Jake?" Chapman was back to life as was the rest of the cafeteria. I looked around. Tobias and Ax were gone. So was Jake.

"I think you're dreaming, sir," I said, snapping out of it. "Jake left, remember?"

"He did?" Chapman said, looking confused. "Did he try out his Discman?"

"He left it at a homeless shelter," Marco blurted, spontaneously.

"A homeless shelter?"

"Uh, yeah," I said. "That's why he was late for first period. He didn't feel right taking it."

"Oh, right," Chapman looked angry. He walked away without saying another word.

I looked over at Rachel. She looked how I felt. Shocked, angry, hurt, all at Jake.

"He's not going to kill you," I reassured her.

"That is not Jake," Rachel agreed.

"And if that was his final decision, then why do we still remember everything?" Marco wondered. "This is not right."

"I have a headache," a familiar voice said.

I looked up and saw Jake slump next to Marco. Rachel was looking at him, shocked. Marco had his mouth wide open.

"Jake?" I said astonished.

"I know I should have gone to class so don't bug me on it alright?" he sighed and dropped his bag on the floor.

"What are you doing here?" Marco blurted.

"I am allowed to be in the cafeteria right?" Jake asked.

"You just said you'd kill me," Rachel hissed.

"What?" Jake said, looking surprised. "I would never say that."

"When the Ellimist said…"

"Wait a minute," Jake interrupted and I could see he had snapped back into leader mode. "The Ellimist was here?"

"You don't know do you?" I said, taking his hand from under the table. "That wasn't you."

"What wasn't me?" he asked, frantically. "Tell me."

"So who was it?" Marco said. "Crayak?"

"Or somebody working for Crayak," Rachel said. "The Drode."

"Excuse me," Jake said, impatiently. "What is going on?"

"But the Ellimist acted as if it was really Jake," I said. "Maybe he didn't know."

"How could he not know?" Rachel argued.

"If you don't tell me what's going on right now, I'm going to…"

"The Drode has been imitating you all day," Marco said. .

"Not all day," Jake said. "I was with you until you left the bathroom for class. I never did get to class. I sort of wagged."

"You wagged?" I said, disapprovingly.

"Well, do you blame me?" Jake said, defensively. "Do you know what it feels like to have people point and stare at you?"

At that moment the bell rang. Everyone started to leave but we just sat there.

"Jake?" I said awkwardly.

"Yeah?" he said, distractedly as he picked up his bag and started to get up.

I glanced at the others. Rachel nodded, allowing me to tell him. I looked at Marco. He didn't seem too happy about the prospect, but knew Jake had to be told.

"The Ellimist told us that you have to choose which future to take by the end of today," I said quietly.

At first I thought he hadn't heard me because he just stood there, expressionless. Then he sat down again.

"What?" he said.

"I'm sorry, Jake," I said, softly.

He buried his face in his hands. When he looked up again, he looked so tired and weary. It scared me because I hated to see him like this.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Maybe it's changed because the Drode was imitating me."

"I don't think so," Rachel said. "Jake, I won't blame you for what you choose. It's my fault we're in this mess anyway."

"No it's not Rachel," Jake sighed as we picked up our bags and started to walk out of the cafeteria. "It was something that was meant to happen. I might just wag the rest of school. The Drode might fill in for me if I'm lucky. I shouldn't have come back anyway."

"You just walked out of school?" Marco said. "How'd you manage that?"

"Flies aren't noticeable," Jake smirked.

I lowered my voice.

"You got your morphing power back?" I asked as we reached our classroom. We all had double history.

"Yeah," he grinned.

"How'd that happen?" Rachel asked. "Aren't you supposed to relax or something."

Marco and Jake exchanged looks. It was then that I realised. Relaxing wasn't the only way to get rid of stress, worry and pressure. Talking about it could help too. Marco was a good friend to Jake and I knew I could count on him for helping Jake when I'm not around.

"Look," Marco said cheerfully. "The teacher's here."


	39. Jake XIII

**Jake**

It was true that I only got my morphing power back because I had talked about all the stress I was feeling. I remembered completely breaking down in the boy's bathroom and Marco comforted me as only a best friend can, and I felt ashamed. Marco didn't mention it again and I was grateful. Even though I could morph again, it didn't take away the final pressure of choosing a future. In less than a day. I kept on thinking of different reasons why I should fight. Nothing came to mind. I needed something more personal than just saving the world. Tom was my one reason for staying in this fight and now it had just disappeared.

I sat through double history thinking of nothing but my choices. What I could choose instead of what Rachel had offered me. I couldn't think about the many reasons why America had a president and not a king or queen.

"Jake?"

I looked up. Everybody was leaving. I didn't even realise the bell had rung; I was too busy thinking about what my choice would be. My friends were standing around me, looking down at me with what I realised was concern. I didn't need any of that. I packed up my books and put them in my bag. I stood up and swung my bag over my shoulder.

"Interesting lesson wasn't it?" Marco said, sarcastically as we walked out of the classroom. "Never thought I'd learn so much in one lesson."

We started walking down the hall to the cafeteria for lunch.

"Oh, no," I moaned and stopped in the hallway.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Hey, Jake!" Allison called, running over to us. "Jake, why didn't you tell me about your brother?" she asked. "After what happened at the beach, I thought…"

"What did you think Allison?" Rachel laughed. "That you and Jake were an item? He's with Cassie; get that through your thick head."

"I'm sorry Rachel," Allison sneered. "But I didn't realise you're Jake's spokeswoman now."

She looked at Cassie, as though she would like nothing more to hit her. "Why are you so quiet?" she spat. "Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Look, Allison," I started. I had enough of trying to get this girl to understand that I was never going to go with her. "You're a nice girl and all, but I don't really think you and I are a very good idea."

"In other words he doesn't like you and he wants you to go away," Marco said pleasantly. "But you're welcome to me any day."

Allison gave him a filthy look and turned away.

"You should stop being so nice and give her one Jake," Rachel growled as she watched Allison walk into the cafeteria.

We walked into the cafeteria and I couldn't help but notice the many stares I got. We found a spare table and sat down.

"I'm just asking," Marco said, looking at me weirdly. "But have you decided yet?"

"No," I sighed. "What other choices are there besides those two already panned out for me?"

"No pressure or anything, Jake, but you have to choose soon," Marco said.

"I know," I said. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Just asking."

I got up. "I'm going to see if they have anything good to eat today."

That's when I saw them exchange looks.

"What?" I asked them.

"Nothing," Cassie said, smiling. "I'll come with you."

"Yeah, so will I," Marco said getting up. "I'm starving."

"I'll come along," Rachel sighed. "But I'm not eating anything. I just don't want to be seen by myself."

School passed quickly after that. My mum came to pick me up so I didn't have to take the bus.

"How was school?" she asked me when I got in the car.

"Nothing special," I replied.

"Have any problems?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know," she said. "What is it you kids do when you're at school?"

"Learn?"

"You don't expect me to buy that, do you?" mum laughed.

I smiled. It was good to know that my mum was getting her life back together. Unlike me.

"Jake, I don't know if Mr. Chapman told you, but the Sharing is holding this tribute to Tom down at the beach tonight," she looked sideways at me. "You don't have to go, but your father and I are."

My heart had stopped beating for a couple of seconds. "What?" I asked, frantic.

"Yeah," she said. "A very nice thing to do."

"You can't go," I said hurriedly.

"Why not?"

"Because… you can't."

"Jake this is your brother," she said sternly. "If you don't want to go that's fine but don't expect the rest of us to follow suit."

"Please, mum," I pleaded. "Don't go."

"What is wrong Jake?" mum asked. "Is there a special reason why you don't want us to go?"

I didn't reply.

"Jake, we're going," she said. "End of conversation."

((Hey Jake,)) came a voice in my head.

I jumped and looked out the window, miserably. A red tail hawk was flying overhead. Tobias.

((You look worried,)) Tobias said. ((If this is about that thing in the cafeteria, I already know it wasn't you. Rachel told me.))

I wanted to die. This can't be happening. Not after everything. I couldn't let my parents be taken. I couldn't no matter what.

((Jake are you alright?)) Tobias asked. ((You don't look too good.))

My mum pulled into the driveway and I got out. I followed her inside and ran up to my room where a red tailed hawk was perched on my bed.

((Are you going to tell me why you ignored me?)) Tobias asked.

"I have a problem," I said closing my door and starting to pace the length of my room.

((Alright,)) Tobias said calmly. ((Look Jake, we all know what you're going through right now, so lets get this straight. Nobody blames you no matter what future you choose for us…))

"It's not about that, Tobias," I snapped.

((So, what's it about?))

"The Sharing is holding a tribute for Tom tonight at the beach,' I said, running my hand through my hair. "My parents are going."

((Oh,)) was all he said.

"What am I going to do?" I said, frustratingly. "What am I going to do?"

((Alright, just calm down Jake,)) Tobias said. ((We don't want you to lose your powers again.))

"Forget about that," I said. "I'm not going to lose them because I'm going to use them."

((Wow,)) Tobias said. ((Somehow I have a bad feeling you meant that in a bad way.))

"I don't care if there's a good way or a bad way to use them anymore," I practically shouted and then remembering my mum was downstairs I lowered my voice. "I'm not going to let them take my parents. They captured and killed my brother; I'm not going to let them take my parents."

((We're not going to let them take your parents,)) Tobias said softly. ((Just stay here, I'll get the others.))

And before I could say anything he flew out of the window.


	40. Tobias III

**Tobias**

This was bad. This was very bad. Jake's parents were next in line to have their heads stuck down a Yeerk Pool. I just kept on going over in my mind how Jake must be feeling. It wasn't fair to him that he was the one that had bad things happening to him.

I was on my way flying to Cassie's when I spotted Marco and Rachel on their way there. They reached the gate where Cassie was and I found my perfect opportunity to tell them all at the same time. I flew down and perched on the gate.

"Hi Tobias," Rachel smiled at me pleasantly. Any moment I would have loved that smile, but right then I was frantic. Jake seemed homicidal to me when I left him and that probably wasn't the best way to end a day.

((Guys, we have a problem,)) I said, quickly. ((It's about Jake.))

"Is he alright?" Cassie said worriedly.

((He's alright for now,)) I said. ((The Sharing is holding a dedication thing for Tom and his parents are going.))

"You're kidding me," Marco said angrily. "How's Jake?"

((How do you think he is?)) I asked, sarcastically. ((We need to find a way to get his parents out of this or we've lost our fearless leader for good.))

"The barn is the closest, safest place to morph," Cassie said quickly. "Come on."

The three of them raced back to Cassie's barn and I flew off to tell Ax. When all four of us were in the sky, I explained to them how Jake had acted and what I thought he meant by that quote.

((It doesn't mean he's going to kill everyone at the Sharing,)) Cassie said, nervously.

((No,)) Marco agreed. ((But he's heading down that path.))

((Guys, we need to do something quickly,)) I said.

((About what?)) Rachel asked.

((About Jake,)) I explained. ((Look these series of events, they have to be happening for a reason. It's like someone is trying to destroy him mentally. Once he's down mentally, there's no need to destroy him physically.))

((Yeah, and without him there's no Animorphs,)) Marco said. ((Let's face it, Jake isn't exactly the best strategic person around, but he leads us into a fight and he gets us out again. Nobody else can do that as well as he can. No questions asked.))

((He is a true prince,)) Ax said proudly. ((I am very much honoured to serve him.))

((If Jake were here, he'd tell you to be quiet Ax,)) Rachel laughed.

We neared Jake's house. What were we supposed to do when we got there? I hadn't planned anything out. Were we supposed to comfort him? Give him advice? Tell him we'd always back him up? Tell the leader of our group what to do? Nobody was going to enjoy this.

Jake's window was still open when we reached his house. We all flew in to his bedroom. He was at his desk going through papers. He turned around and watched us demorph, with the exception of me.

"Okay, Jake we're here," Cassie said, the first one to demorph. She hurried over to him and gave him a hug. He didn't repay the favour.

((What are those?)) I asked him, indicating with my beak to the papers on his desk.

"These are reports of known controllers," he said.

"You have reports on known controllers?" Marco said as he became fully human. "What are you with? The CIA?"

"It's good to know who we're dealing with," Jake shrugged. "Besides, I might need to take advantage of their weaknesses."

We all exchanged looks.

"Jake, what do you intend to do?" Cassie asked apprehensively.

"I'm not about to let them take my parents, Cassie," Jake said.

((We're not going to let them,)) I said, solemnly.

"Yeah," Jake laughed, it wasn't a humorous laugh; it was more of a sardonic laugh. "Just like I was going to save Tom, right?"

"Jake…" Cassie started, but Jake cut in.

"Look guys," he said. "I appreciate this, I really do, but I've already told my parents I'll be there and I don't need back up on this."

"I think you do," Marco said and then he gave Jake a look. Something had happened that only they knew about, something that had made Jake look bad as a leader. "You're not thinking straight. You could expose us."

"I'm not going to expose us," Jake said, shooting Marco a look back. "I know what I'm going to do."

"I'm going with you," Rachel said, as if the conversation had ended. "I am Tom's cousin after all."

"You don't want to go for Tom," Jake snapped. "You want to go so you might bring down some Yeerks."

"Isn't that what you want?" Rachel shot back. "Look at you, Jake," she said. "You're turning into me."

"What?" Jake laughed. "I don't think so."

"Jake, listen to me," I could hear the sincerity in Rachel's voice as she spoke. "You don't want to become like me, you don't. You don't want to become a ruthless killer. You have a conscious. I lost mine a long time ago and look what I've become. I need this war for the killing. That's who I am now. I don't want you to become like me," she sighed. Jake had lost his humour and refused to look at her, but she continued. "You're a good person, you're an in control person. That's why you're our leader. I could never be leader because I'm not calm, I don't look for the right way to go about things, and I take the easy way out, because I'm ruthless," she paused and I looked at her. She wasn't crying, or smiling, she just had this painful look on her face. "Jake, do you want to know why I made that offer to you? I didn't make it to you so you could become more like me; I made it because I wanted…I needed you to stay as our leader. I thought that would be the one reason why you would stay. I was wrong. I've seen the damage I've caused and I want to stop it. I don't want you to become the person I changed to when this war started," she took a breath and looked around her. She looked at me and I cocked my head, urging her to go on. Jake needed to hear this.

"Listen to me, cousin," she said, coming closer to Jake, who still refused to look at her. "You're not me. You're a good person. You've always thought of other people before yourself. But you're turning into me and it's scaring us. Don't punish innocents for this. Because in the end you're only going to hurt yourself. You'll never be able to live with yourself. I can handle it, you won't be able to."

She finished with a sigh as though she was relieved. I flew over to her and perched on her shoulder. She stroked my feathers. I looked around. Jake was still sitting at his desk, turned away from the rest of us. Marco was sitting on his bed, acting as if he heard none of Rachel's speech. Cassie was standing the closest to Jake, watching him with concern. Ax was standing in a corner, face expressionless.

"Is that it?" Jake asked coldly. "Are you finished with your speech?"

Rachel nodded. I don't think we've ever seen Rachel as emotional as she was these couple of weeks, but it certainly was a change from her cold self.

Then from downstairs we heard a shout. It was Jake's mum, telling Jake to get downstairs so they could leave. Jake shouted his response.

He got up and opened the door, but before he left he said, "I don't want you there."

We were left there. Utterly bewildered with Rachel's speech.

"I'm going," she said.

"What?" Marco said, mockingly. "You've snapped back into Xena mode now?"

"Shut up," Rachel snapped. "You know I only said that for Jake's benefit."

((One thing you're right about though, Rachel,)) I said. ((Jake is turning into you.))

"There's a scary thought," Marco said softly, as secretly we all thought the same thing.


	41. Jake XIV

**Jake**

By the time we arrived at the Sharing's tribute to Tom, there was no doubt in my mind that nearly everyone there was a Yeerk. There were just a couple of people who denied Sharing membership and my parents were among them. If anything would happen, I would be ready.

Rachel's speech was nagging me at the back of my mind, as if it meant something to me. But it didn't. I wouldn't let it mean anything. I wasn't turning into Rachel. I couldn't be turning into Rachel. Rachel would kill.

_Isn't that what you plan to do? _A nagging voice said in my mind. _You are prepared to sacrifice innocents so you can have what you want._

I shoved the snide voice out of my mind and looked out at the beach. People were playing along it with Frisbees and balls. Near the table areas, the older members were standing and talking to themselves under a large banner saying, 'In Memory of Tom.'

Mr. Chapman was talking with my parents and I was standing nearby, never letting my parents out of my sight.

((Have fun Jake,)) a voice said in my head. ((We've got you covered.))

I looked around. Tobias had just spoken in my head. He was somewhere nearby. The others had come after I told them I didn't need them. I was angry. And then I noticed a red tailed hawk gliding overhead.

((We're all around,)) Tobias said. ((In different morphs.))

And that's when I opened up my eyes and saw the things that should have pointed out my friends. A tabby cat was being chased by a dog. Rachel and Marco. A boy was riding a horse. Ax and Cassie. They were all around me.

I turned around, expecting my parents to be a few feet away, but they weren't there. They were gone. I started to panic. Calm down, Jake, I told myself. They probably took a walk.

I searched the beach, but couldn't find them. I started walking up the beach. Marco and Rachel raced by.

((What's going on, Jake?)) Marco asked, sounding giddy.

"Where are my parents?" I hissed as they raced past again.

((Tobias,)) Rachel said in thought speech. ((Where are Jake's parents?))

((They're…uh oh,)) Tobias sounded nervous.

"Uh oh?" I said, frantically. "What uh oh?"

((Tobias, what's up dude?)) Marco said quickly.

((Guys, bad news,)) Tobias said. ((Jake's parents are surrounded by human controllers around the corner from you guys.))

((I'm on my way,)) Cassie said and I saw her gallop off with Ax on her back, demorphing quickly.

I started to make my way down the beach, but Marco stopped me.

((We'll handle this,)) he said. ((Just stay calm, we'll save them.))

He raced off after Rachel, pretending yet again to be a playful dog after a cat. I started pacing the beach. I looked up. Tobias was gone from the sky. All I could do was pace. I couldn't stand anymore. I started making my way down the beach. Nobody stopped me turn the corner. Nobody even noticed me. But when I turned the corner, I swallowed my heart. My mum was watching, laughing as my dad was being held while a Yeerk slithered through his ear. My friends were doing everything they could, but it was too late. I felt sick. I wanted to throw up. I think I almost did when time stopped.

I looked around me. My friends were fully human and in Ax's case, Andalite, standing around me looking as depressed as I felt. Time had stopped. Time had frozen the image of a Yeerk halfway through to my dad's brain. I wanted to yank that Yeerk away from him, but I knew I couldn't.

"Have you made your decision?" the Ellimist appeared before us once again as an old man. "Have you decided what future you want your friends to go through?"

I stared at him, hatred coursing through my body. I wanted to punch him, to wipe that horrible look off his face. I knew I couldn't.

"Yes," I said, softly, wishing I had something that would numb the throbbing pain coursing through my whole body. I didn't look at my friends. "I've decided."

"What is your decision?"

"Why ask when you already know?" I sneered.

"Your friends need to know," the Ellimist said. "Look at them and tell them."

I swallowed. I couldn't face my friends. I couldn't tell them what I'd chosen. Partly because I blamed them for my parents infestation and partly because I couldn't bare to see their dismay.

I turned around and looked in their faces. Cassie had her eyes locked on mine. Rachel was staring defiantly at me. Tobias, human, had a piercing stare, just like his hawk self. Marco was giving me a silent message, 'I don't blame you'. Ax remained as expressionless as ever.

I took a breath and prepared to speak their fate. "I decline your offer Rachel."

Rachel had a painful expression on her face as though she didn't know if this was a good or bad thing. Cassie never removed her gaze from me. Marco nodded, realising he now had a different job at hand. Trying to keep me sane. Ax remained expressionless. Tobias still had that piercing stare.

"Are you sure?" the Ellimist asked me.

I turned to him. "Yes."

"Have you considered your other options?"

"What other options?" I shouted. I don't think anyone was surprised by my outburst. "Stop playing mind games and tell me."

"You know I can't do that," the Ellimist said calmly. "I understand your situation and therefore you will find yourselves well away from the beach when I return you to your time. You will not remember your decision, Jake, but you and everyone else will remember everything else that has happened. It will be as if you simply gave up after your parents were infested."

"Question," Marco said, almost instantly after he had finished. I could tell he was finding it hard to keep from yelling. "Is everything Cassie explained to us going to work out that way? Is Jake going to be depressed? Is my mum doomed? Is Cassie paranoid? Are Rachel and Tobias on a hateful journey to hell? Is Ax stuck here?"

I could have sworn I saw the Ellimist smile. "You will see," he said, looking right in my eyes. "You will see."

And then he disappeared.


	42. Cassie VII

**Cassie**

We were standing on the street in front of the woods. We had raced there after Jake's parents were infested. I looked at him. He was pale.

"Jake…" I started, but before I could say anymore, he began to change. Slowly I could see his skin change colour to orange and black stripes.

"Jake, no!" I shouted. But he didn't seem to hear me.

We were in a street, in plain view. It was lucky nobody was close by.

Jake had finished morphing and was racing into the woods.

((I'll go after him,)) Tobias said, quickly.

"No," I said, wiping away stray tears. "He's too fast, we'll go together."

We walked calmly in the woods and started to morph into our birds of prey morphs.

((It's nobody's fault,)) Marco said, sounding like he was talking more to himself than to the rest of us. ((It was bound to happen.))

((Oh, yes,)) Rachel said, sarcastically. ((It was all bound to happen. Tom getting killed, Tom being alive, Tom getting killed, Chapman trying to infest Jake, Jake beating some guy up, Jake's parents getting infested…))

((Is that him?)) I asked quickly.

((Who else would it be?)) Marco asked.

Jake was fully human and was pacing again.

((I'm going down,)) I said, quickly.

((I'm coming with you,)) Marco said.

((No,)) I said. ((I need to speak with him.))

((Let Cassie go to Prince Jake,)) Ax said. ((I don't know much about human interaction, but Prince Jake and Cassie have what you call a connection.))

((In other words they're hot for each other,)) Marco said dully.

((Now's not the time to joke, Marco,)) Rachel said, angrily.

((Who's joking?))  
I flew down on the ground and started to demorph. Jake didn't seem to notice and kept on pacing.

"Jake?" I said softly when I was fully human. I walked over to him and stood in front of him so he was forced to stop pacing. "Jake, this is not your fault."

He looked at me and I swear I could literally see his pain. He wasn't crying, he just looked numb. I wrapped his arms around me and hugged him.

"Why is this happening to me?" he whispered. "What did I do?"

That made me cry.

"You did nothing," I answered, hugging him closer. "You're having a bad week."

That was an understatement.

"Sit down with me," I said, leading him over to a tree and sitting down against it. He sat down beside me.

"I'm just so tired," he said.

I looked in his eyes and knew that he wasn't kidding. He looked so weary and worn out it scared me. Not for the first time did I fear for his sanity. What would come of him now?

"I know," I whispered. "Just sleep. I'll be here for you."

He leaned his head against the tree, I laid my head on his chest and five minutes later his breathing became heavy. He was asleep.

Four birds fluttered down on the ground.

((Good going, Cassie,)) Marco said, gratefully. ((I just hope he'll be okay.))

((I will assume Prince Jake's position at his home,)) Ax said.


	43. Jake XV

**Jake**

"Hey, midget," a voice said at my bedroom door. "Get up you lazy bum. You've slept the whole morning away."

I sat bolt upright. Tom was standing at my bedroom door.

"You're alive," I blurted.

Tom gave me a searching look and I hid my emotions quickly.

"No need to sound so pleased," he said, before stalking away.

I looked around me. I was in my bed in my bedroom. Not in the woods on a prickly ground with Cassie lying next to me. My brother was alive, not dead. I pinched myself. This had to be a dream. No way could this be real.

I jumped out of bed and quickly dressed up. I ran downstairs and found my parents, my clean, un-infested parent's downstairs eating lunch.

"Finally, you're up," my dad said. "I was going to come up to see if you were still alive."

I laughed. I felt so happy and each moment of happiness came this sinking feeling that I was actually dreaming. Then I did the most unexpected thing. I hugged them. When I broke apart they looked scared.

"Jake?" mum asked tentatively. "Are you alright?"

"Never been better," I laughed.

Just then the phone rang. My mum, still looking strangely at me, picked it up.

"Hello?" she said and then paused as a loud coherent voice spoke on the other end.

"Jake, it's Marco," she said handing me the phone.

"Jake, hey," Marco sounded a little weirded out. "The arcade is supposed to have this really cool game. It's supposed to have lots of animals in it. Will you be there?"

"Yeah, sounds like fun," I answered. I hung up and turned to my parents. "I'm going to the arcade with Marco."

"Alright," my dad said.

I hurried out the door and started heading towards Cassie's barn. Marco had used a cryptic code to tell me that there was a meeting held in Cassie's barn. It wasn't a very good code, but it worked.

I walked into the barn and the first thing that I saw was a bunch of blonde hair before I was smothered with it.

"Jake!" screamed Rachel. "Oh my God, you scared me!"

She pulled away from me and I could see silent tears rolling down her cheek. For a moment I thought what I thought was a dream was actually true.

"I thought you were dead," Rachel said, pulling me in for another hug.

I hugged her. "What? Who told you that?"

I looked around. Everyone was there. Cassie was silently crying, Marco was looking freaked out. Tobias, in his hawk form gave a piercing glare and Ax, in his human morph, remained expressionless.

"I thought I killed you," she said.

I let her go. "Wait a minute, you killed me?"

"I had this vision or something that showed me killing you. There was more to it."

I looked around at them. "Did you all have these visions?"

They all nodded.

"We all had visions, but all of them are different," Marco explained. "In mine you didn't die. It was mostly about my mum and dad."

"In mine I was a ruthless killer," Cassie said, wiping away tears. "And you lost it Jake. You were so angry at me and you couldn't lead anymore."

"I was left here," Ax spoke up. "He-ar. Ar. The Andalites came but left me behind. Hind. Be-hind."

((I saw a world where the Yeerks took over,)) Tobias said softly. ((And you all became controllers. I was forced to morph human and stay that way.))

I sighed. "Someone is messing with us," I said. "And one guess who that is."

"The Ellimist," Cassie breathed. "But why would he show us these visions?"

I thought about my vision. Everything in it made me seem so vulnerable. When I thought about it, everything I'd been fearing lately happened in the vision.

"Correct Jake," a deep echoing voice said.

I looked around, like in my vision; an old man had appeared before us.

"For a primitive race, you are not so ignorant," the Ellimist smiled.

I sighed. "You going to tell us what that was all about?" I demanded.

"But you already know."

My friends looked at me questioningly. I hadn't told them about my vision.

"It's our fears," I explained to them. "It's what we most fear out of everything."

"Exactly," the Ellimist smiled. "It's your greatest fears."

"Why did you show us them?" Marco demanded angrily. "What was the damn point?"

"Your fears are not necessarily your weaknesses," the Ellimist said. "You can learn from them. That's why I showed them to you." Then he looked at me. "Your friends acted how they would have acted if your situation was real."

I turned away from him. I didn't want to think about my vision, it was too humiliating.

"For some of you, your fears were great," he never stared away from me. "For others they were less," this time he turned to Rachel.

((How did you manage all this without breaking the rules?)) Tobias asked.

The Ellimist smiled. "It's not against the rules to help out good friends," and then he was gone.

"Yeah right," Marco snorted. "I'm not his good friend."

"That vision taught me nothing," Rachel said angrily. "All it told me was not to trust Crayak, but then I already knew that…"

She stopped and looked sideways at me.

"Don't worry Rachel," I said, wearily. "I already know about your deal with Crayak."

"What deal with Crayak?" Cassie asked, curiously.

"I didn't accept, it was just in my vision or whatever it was," she looked at me. "How did you know about the deal?"

"It was mentioned in my…uh, vision," I shrugged.

"What was in your vision anyway?" Marco asked, looking at me strangely. "We haven't heard from you yet."

I looked at each of them. My warriors. Each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Pros and cons. They could talk about their fears, their worries. It didn't show them as weak or vulnerable because they didn't have the weight of the world on their shoulders. It was different with me. I couldn't let them know what I was feeling. I was their leader. Their fearless leader. I couldn't show my weakness. They needed me to be strong. So instead of admitting to my fears, I put on a smile.

"I had this vision that I totally beat you at this new game you got," I said to Marco.

Marco looked at me shrewdly, as if calculating me, but smiled. "That was your fear?" he said. "More like your hope."

"It was quite depressing actually," I continued as if he hadn't spoken. "You were bawling your eyes out when I kicked your butt."

"That's it," Marco exclaimed. "No one says that and gets away with it. To the arcade!"

He flung up his arms dramatically and walked out of the barn.

((I've got to see this,)) Tobias laughed, flying out after him.

"Tobias!" Rachel screamed after him. "You're not serious."

"This will be interesting," Ax said, walking out. "Teresting. Ta-ing."

When Ax had left Cassie stood up and walked towards me. She put her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.

"I thought my vision was real," she whispered. "You didn't even want to look at me."

"It was just a dream," I said, trying to reassure myself as much as I was reassuring her.

"Yeah," she said. "Just like yours. It was just a dream, Jake."

"I know," I said, pulling away from her.

"Sorry," she whispered. "You just seemed a bit freaked out by it."

"I'm fine," I lied.

"Alright," she let go of me and started walking out of the barn door. "Come on, I want to see Marco grind you into the ground."

I laughed. "Great, who have I got on my side now?"

She left and I was there standing with the animals. Was it just me or was my dream or vision or whatever it was, out of control? Did I really fear all that stuff? The others didn't seem to have such a bad time with their dreams.

"Hey, Jake you coming?" Rachel yelled.

"Yeah," I shouted back. "Coming."

**The End **


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